World Peace, Angry Penguins, and Miracles

This is Islam

2011-04-02T09:10:00.003-04:00

UN workers killed in Afghanistan, 2 of them beheaded. Continuing violence which have killed 9 more people, a suicide bomber attacks the UN compound, gunfire...all because some whackjob Christian preacher named Terry Jones supervised the burning of the Qur'an in front of about 50 people at a church in Florida on March 20, according to his website.

The Taliban claimed no responsibility, and a spokesman stated:

“The Taliban had nothing to do with this, it was a pure act of responsible Muslims,” spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid said by phone from an undisclosed location.
“The foreigners brought the wrath of the Afghans on themselves by burning the Qur'an.”

Did you note that? "...responsible Muslims". He suggests that the foreigners, who had nothing to do with the burning, brought this on themselves.

Christ. If there is any more proof that radical Islam is something that has to be eradicated from the face of the Earth, then this is it. Religion of peace my ass. Islam is so fucking backwards, it is still mired in a 16th Century mindset. It is a cancer on society that needs to be violently extracted.

Take a look at France - whole blocks where the police do not dare to go - populated by Muslims who rule outside the law of the country. This is spreading into Europe and it must be stopped.

Stupidity increasing....

2010-11-26T10:37:00.003-05:00

So many idiots, too few bullets...

Mike Huckabee, who used to be the governor of Arkansas is an evangelical Christian fundamentalist, and a creationist. He supported teaching creationism in schools. He's a possible contender to lead the Republicans in the next Presidential election. As is Sarah Palin, who is also a creationist and who, according to her new book, wants to blur the line between church and state.

This is frightening, but not wholly unexpected. Stupidity has become the driving force behind the American economy. Everything that has happened, from the meltdown of the economy to the invasion of Iraq, can be attributed to stupidity.

The US government likes to talk of "rogue states" - Iran and North Korea, for instance. However, given the current trend towards becoming a nation of fucking retards, the US frightens me more than they do. I don't fear an attack by Iranian soldiers - but I do fear one from some dumbass 'merican president.

George Bush was and is the poster child for dumbassery. Yet he was a 2-term President. Fox News is nothing more than a bunch of douchebags constantly pushing the stupidity button of the nation in order to bump their ratings - nothing more. And the slack-jawed tune in with extraordinary attention - drooling with blank-eyed stares at the appropriately named idiot box - constantly on guard for any hint of terrorism in their suburban neighbourhoods. They sit there and spout creationist garbage with a straight face...absurd. I am not an evolutionist, in that I don't subscribe fervently to the idea we are simply descended from single-cell organisms. But I don't, for a minute, believe the Earth was created in 6 fucking days.

This is a University student?

2010-08-05T07:51:00.002-04:00

Okay, so some University student with the unfortunate last name of Wiener (Jesus, there are some names that, even if they have some storied history, I would definitely change...for instance, if my last name was Sukcoc, I think I would change the freakin' thing regardless of my ancestors' great accomplishments. Anyways, I digress). So, Kevin Wiener is pissed at an Auto Reform law that he says discriminates against young people. Whatever. He ignores the fact that most young males between 17-25 are moronic drivers, even when sober. But again...whatever.

The real story, in my opinion, is this Queens University graduate who has gone over to the Unversity of Western Ontario's prestigious Ivey School of Business actually said "irregardless" in an interview. You would think after years of high school and post-secondary education, he would have learned that "irregardless" isn't a freakin' word.

So, Kevin Wiener...on the off chance that you ever read this - might I suggest a few courses in the English language.

FIFA World Cup 2010 - those stupid horns!

2010-06-15T10:05:00.003-04:00

I've never been a big fan of soccer (or football to the purists out there). I did play for the better part of a decade back in my school days, but really could never get into watching it on television. It's a tediously slow game, especially when played at the professional level.

I thought I would get into this year's World Cup - given that my fiance's son is an avid soccer player and huge Arsenal fan. They lived in England for several years, and he, along with his sister, was born there. They only moved back to Canada about 7 years ago.

So the stage was set for me to actually get into this event - especially with England's first game against the US. So we flip the TV onto the big game - and cue the fucking horns. The constant droning of these things ensures I won't watch another game.

The vuvuzela is a piece of crap plastic horn that produces a high pitched whining sound in the range of 127 decibels. That's right - louder than a pneumatic drill for you people keeping score at home. Some have been measured up to 144 decibels. It's use is being defended as a part of the soccer (football) culture of South Africa. So was apartheid, at one point - things change.

Facebook groups against these horns are springing up. People want them banned. Sound companies are coming up with ways to filter the noise. All of that effort for a glorified kazoo.

NHL 2K10 for the Wii - Piece o' crap...

2010-05-06T08:49:00.004-04:00

My youngest son, who has shown an interest in hockey, recently had his 7th birthday. My oldest son bought him a couple of games for the Wii - including NHL 2K10. I am not a huge fan of sports games, but this one is so convoluted and poorly designed, it makes me amazed that people seem to like it.

I am a software developer/designer for a living and I know a thing or two about the importance of usability, but the menu system is anything but usable. For instance, even though you can play the game without the nunchuck control, you actually need it to traverse the menu correctly - though at no point in the game itself (it knows whether or not you have a nunchuck attached) nor in the manual does it state this - failure #1.

Failure #2 takes the form of entirely non-intuitive menus. Frankly, I don't need fancy and flashy menus - I just need a freaking menu. Hell, spend less time with retarded menus and more time on gameplay. That's what people bought the game for, not flashy menus.

Failure #3 is the pain in the ass "connecting to server" bug that even people giving this game a relatively high rating complain about - my son just wanted to play a Quick Game and tried to choose the Eastern Conference AllStars as his team. The system then looped while attempting to connect to Take2's servers and I had to reset the freaking Wii. Apparently, this is a known bug - one that should be a show stopper - but for some reason people are willing to accept it.

Failure #4 - the gameplay itself. Horrible beyond measure. I could go on, but will focus on something that is out of the player's direct control. When you play the game, you control one player at-at-time. The AI controls your other players (not very well at all - I don't know how many times the other team - also controlled by the AI - got breakaways because the AI controlled defencemen just stood there). At one point, the AI controlling the characters caused penalty after penalty. My son was playing on the penalty kill, 5 on 3, for more than 12 minutes of in-game time. The other team NEVER got a penalty. So, the AI controls every player on the other team, and THEY never get a penalty, but the 4 players on my son's team did constantly.

Horrible, horrible, horrible.

Stay away from it if you value your sanity.

Celebrity culture as news

2010-05-05T11:33:00.002-04:00

Do you really care that Tiger Woods was unfaithful? How about David Boreanaz from Bones? I know I don't care, but the entertainment that still masquerades as news fills the airwaves with this crap.

The whole Tiger Woods fiasco was just that. At what point did sports channels start covering tabloid fodder? What does his dicking around and the subsequent fallout have to do with his golfing, except to serve as a distraction for him? I don't idolize athletes, or actors, or politicians. In what kind of sad reality must someone live to idolize someone they have never met?

I think the word "idolize" should be replaced by "idealize" - because that is what is actually happening. JFK was, for all intents and purposes, a man whore who had affairs in the freaking White House - but for all that he was "idolized" and still is. Why? He could be a jerk in real life had you met him without the press around. So, it wasn't JFK, or Tiger Woods, that people "idolized" it was their image they portrayed in the media.

This phenomenon also explains reality TV and the WWF. People allow themselves to believe in a reality that doesn't exist. Whether it is an individual or a concept. Marketing trumps intelligence and perception each and every time. Pathetic, ain't it?

Islam has got to go...redux

2010-04-27T07:19:00.002-04:00

Back in February 2006, I posted an entry on the "controversy" surrounding a bunch of cartoons published in a Danish newspaper: Islam has got to go.

Now South Park has stirred up the bees nest that is radical Islam and are receiving death threats.

We, of course, can't lump all Muslims into the same pile. Much like we cannot blame all Catholics for the sexual abuse of children by priests, we can't blame all Muslims for the evil perpetrated by radicals. But if some bizarre Catholic cult tried to ban any image of Jesus under the threat of death, you can be damned sure that everyone, including other Catholics, would condemn such evil. Not so the Muslim community. Have you heard from any stating the the Comedy Channel in the US should air the 200th and 201st episode of South Park uncensored? Have you heard any mainstream condemnation of the death threats? Nope.

Reason #23 why Islam is a stain on society, as is any belief system, religious or otherwise, that denigrates its own adherents and threatens those that don't believe as they do (this includes radical Atheist, who are as bad, if not worse, than religious nut jobs).

Thank God it's over

2010-04-24T22:25:00.000-04:00

The Ottawa Senators just lost in overtime to the Pittsburgh Penguins, who have one their playoff series. Basically, this means nothing in the grand scope of things. To me, it means I don't have to watch anymore hockey this year. The weather's nice, there are things to do, and I don't have to get sidetracked by some stupid sport. Sidetracked, frustrated, annoyed...pick one or more.

I know the NHL wants, and needs, to have two American teams in the Stanley Cup finals - for the simple reason that the US is the larger market and, from a business perspective, it makes more sense to feature two teams that could potentially interest a greater number of fans. But I doubt this theory, I truly do. Most fans are like me...we watch one, maybe two, teams and that's it. If they aren't playing, we don't watch. Now, given the simple fact that hockey is LIGHT YEARS more popular in Canada than in the US, wouldn't you think it makes more sense to have two Canadian teams? I think that...but it will never happen. Goals being called back, infractions not being called, all ensure that Sid the Kid makes it through so the slack-jawed morons who know little of hockey, but get all excited over seeing a "celebrity", will buy tickets or tune in.

Oh well, over the past few years, I have drifted away from giving a rat's ass about sports in general.

Cars, Drugs, and Weapons

2010-01-26T07:58:00.004-05:00

I wonder what kind of person can work for a car manufacturer, pharmaceutical corporation, or a company that makes weapons? How can they get up in the mornings and look at themselves in the mirror? Can people be that immoral?

Cars

No way in hell are cars made as good as they can be made. Even if you buy into the argument that they make them so they are affordable, they still could be made better for the same price. No WAY these guys design cars to last more than 5 years. The economy...especially in 'Merica...couldn't survive without the relatively disposable vehicles that spew out of the auto industry. If people kept their cars for 10 years, GM et al would be in more trouble than they currently are.

On a related side-note, what numbnuts decided that after I spray my window with windshield washer fluid, I would need to have the wipers come on automatically for 3 cycles, then wait a second or two, and then run once more?? The manual says it's a convenience thing to stop drips. What a load of crap! There are no drips when you driving in cold, sloppy weather doing 110kph (60mph approximately). What ends up happening is the window looks great, then after 2 seconds, that other "swipe" ends up streaking the shit out of the windshield. Nice job, engineers.

Pharmaceutical Corporations

Hands up everyone who thinks that a pharmaceutical company (PC) is actively looking for a cure for cancer, AIDs, diabetes, the cold...anything. Okay, everyone who has a hand in the air is an idiot. Leave now. PCs, again, especially in the US, are about treating illnesses. The shareholders will NEVER accept a cure for anything. If they could, they would go back in time and undo the polio vaccine. So, if you are hoping that they can save your young child from leukemia, or that some medical breakthrough will cure your aged parent from alzheimers, don't hold your breath. As sad, and as cruel and cynical, as it may sound, there is no WAY a company with a bottom line as its sole priority will come up with a cure for shit.

Weapons Manufacturers

Really. Do I have to even explain this one? Everyone who works for a company making weapons for general non-military consumption - go home and take lots of pills. You people suck, and the world would be better off without you in it. Even those who make weapons for the military...how many "allies" do you sell your weapons to? How many end up in the hands of the very people you are fighting. Seriously...suicide is an option for you. Please. Before you breed and instill the same sense of abhorrent immorality into your crotchfruit.

Strange Firefox issue

2009-09-16T12:02:00.003-04:00

Got this strange issue with Firefox. I was customising it so that I save as much screen real estate as I can. I use the Tiny Menu addon and move everything UP to the menu bar (all the navigation items and the two folders in my bookmarks toolbar). I then turn off (uncheck) the Navigation and Bookmarks toolbars - leaving my with one menubar line and the tabs.

Now, odd thing is my two Bookmark folders appear only until I close and reopen FF. Then they disappear (i.e. minimize to a small blue arrow) until I "customise" the interface again - just clicking customise then closing the window that opens does the trick - no moving of buttons, etc.

Adventures with Jeff - BUGS!

2009-06-19T07:48:00.003-04:00

Part 3 of my hopefully ongoing series on my friendship with Jeff brings us to his incredible phobia with regards to insects. He hated bugs...and eggs and tequila, but those are other stories.

Once, we had to go under our friend's raised cottage...literally raised on jacks. We had to jack up the cottage about six more inches. There was easily two dozen to do. I think Jeff lasted 5 minutes until a daddy long legs dropped onto his face. He watched from inside his car, armed with a can of raid.

On a particular nice June evening, Jeff, the Hottie, and I went to our local pub and decided to sit out on their second floor deck.

Beautiful evening, moon brightly shining, beer flowing, june bugs hovering around the patio lights, sounds of someone puking in the alley below...wonderful summer evening in Ottawa. Ah.

Anyhoo, I decided, for whatever strange reason, to order the fruit, cheese, and veggie platter instead of something recently killed, gutted, and grilled.

As the waitress handed me my platter, a red grape rolled off and landed onto the patio deck near my chair. About an hour later, after a few more beers, Jeff gave a start and swatted at a june bug that had flown in front of his face. He clipped it towards me and it landed on the deck. He asked if he killed the little bastard. I reached down and picked up the grape. Holding it 'twixt my thumb and forefingers I showed it to him and said "Nope, but I'll get it. Here!". With that, I squished the grape and let it's "guts" goop down over my fingers and onto the table. Then I licked my fingers.

Fortunately, we were overlooking the alleyway, because he never would have made it to the bathroom.

Adventures with Jeff - To the Gym!

2009-06-16T07:41:00.002-04:00

My buddy Jeff and I joined a gym once and actually went regularly. Now, Jeff always biked a lot, and he has one of those sick metabolisms that allow him to eat a double order of fajitas and still be hungry...and yet not gain a freaking pound. Needless to say, he was the "in shape" one.

Now, we joined that particular gym because a friend (hot) of ours worked there. She was tall, long legged, and incredibly pretty (hot). Jeff had a thing for her...well, okay..so did I. But he saw her first, so the bro' code was in effect.

One evening, she (the Hottie) joined us in our workout. This was around the same time that both of us realized that the place was actually less a gym than it was a "meet market" (or is that a "meat market"...not sure). This became really obvious when the Macho Man, in a cut-off sweat shirt (no sleeves, bottom portion cut off up to the ribs), lycra shorts, and cheesie, neon-coloured running shoes, followed the Hottie around. Everytime she was on a machine, he was on the one next to her.

Jeff and I thought the look on her face was hysterical: rolling her eyes while scrunching her face up. What we didn't realize was that she was not only reacting to his constant attention, she was also reacting to his odour. We finally caught a whiff of it when she climbed into a leg lift machine next to us and he, of course, followed close behind, still attempting to engage her in conversation. The Macho Man had terrible BO mixed with some sort of cheap cologne. Like that sickly sweet smell of rotting fruit.

Out of the corner of her mouth, she whispered to us "Get this guy away from me!". I had just finished my final rep on a bench press and Jeff had just started, so I stood there talking to her in a flirty sort of way, hoping to make it clear to the Macho Man that she was interested in someone else. It seemed to work, as he shut up for a bit, while working on the leg press machine. There he was grunting away while doing less than half of the weights.

He finished his reps, and stood up to stretch, use the Hottie's machine to put his leg up. Once again, he began to flirt with her. I asked if he was finished with the leg press, and he studiously ignored me. I jumped onto it and started my reps...about the same time Jeff finished up and walked over to me.
Now, as I mentioned earlier, Jeff was the "in shape" one, but I always surprised him when it came to my leg strength. As an ex-competitive swimmer/lifeguard, I always had strong legs...but he was amazed that I could do full reps with all the weights on a leg press machine.

So I start my reps and make a big show, complete with a loud exclamation "Whoa! Man, this is too light. Just about overextended myself. Jeff, can you move the bar down to the bottom." Jeff and the Hottie laughed, and the Macho Man's face went a little pink as I started my reps.

He huffed over to the bench press machine, and when he struggled to lift the weight setting that Jeff and just done, Jeff walked over and asked him if he wanted it put on a lower setting. I laughed so hard, while pushing on the weights, that I farted.

Macho Man got up and stormed away.

His odour lingered for a good twenty minutes.

Adventures with Jeff

2009-05-06T10:11:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, a buddy of mine, Jeff, and I went to Alexandria Bay for the July 4th celebration. After checking into our motel, we headed out to the docks to eat at this great restaurant we knew about and where we could catch a boat to take us out into the bay for the fireworks that evening. On the way there, we saw a souped up AMC Gremlin: racing car green, tinted windows, mag tires, wicked sounding engine...all on a Gremlin. I started to laugh as the car passed us going in the opposite direction, and it stopped. The driver got out, as well as three passengers. They were huge. The driver approached me. I could hear my friend whisper “You idiot…”, then the driver looked at me and asked, “What’s so funny?”. I thought for a second and figured, in for a penny, in for a pound. So, I swallowed that little voice inside of me that was saying be careful, and replied, “Um, dude. You souped up a Gremlin.” Then waited. Incredibly, his friends started to laugh and one said to him, “Told you, man. It’s a Gremlin!”

The driver looked pleadingly towards me and pointing to his car, said “Yeah, but look man, it’s in great condition! I mean, I redid the interior, brand new engine. I just couldn’t afford a better car! C’mon man, look at it!” I can remember hearing Jeff whisper “You lucky bastard!” Turned out that his friends had been busting his chops over his choice of wheels, like guys do. We ended up hanging around them the whole weekend. Great bunch of guys.

I think Jeff spent a lot of his time with me shaking his head and looking for the quickest route to the exit. There was this one time we had gone to see Cobra with Sylvester Stallone. Before the previews, we could hear a woman directly behind us nattering away incessantly. This continued throughout the previews, and when the movie started she laughed and said, dismissively “Oh, is this the guy that saved us from the communists in Rambo?”. At that, I had had enough, turned around and said “If you don’t want to watch the movie, you can always leave. At least shut up so we can hear it.” I have learned it pays to scout out the “enemy” before engaging. The guy she was with looked like a football player. I think his biceps were bigger than my legs. He didn’t say anything, and I turned back around and watched the whole movie thinking he was going to punch the back of my head. Jeff leaned over and whispered, “You’re on your own, dude.” I guess he had had enough of me putting him into possible situations in which we get our asses kicked.

So, with the movie over and the house lights up, I stood, turned, and looked at the guy as he was getting out of his seat. His date was already up and walking away in a huff. The guy gave me a small smile and a thumb’s up and he said, in a quiet voice “God, I thought she would never shut up. Thanks, man. Worst blind date ever.”

Jeff always thought I was going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get us into trouble.

Random thoughts about Bananas and hair curlers, et al.

2009-04-30T18:06:00.006-04:00

I had always wondered about the bananas and the trench coats of opportunity foisted upon humankind without the benefit of clothespins or tater tots. Notwithstanding the confusion that arises when benevolent hair curlers are lost in the miasma of idyllic hip hop, or festooned with the colourful branches that swooned from the trunks of compact cars, the great unwashed occasionally rise above the panderings of chimpanzees and find themselves the sole occupants of deflated dirigibles.

Outside, the plaid is covered in homesick pancakes, and only the trumpet sees the truth in trampolines.

That's all I have to say about that.

IE8 Beta 2 - GUI issues

2009-04-14T09:40:00.007-04:00

Once again, MS, in a desperate attempt to remain relevant in the browser market, has been hammering out the new iteration of Internet Explorer: Version 8. Here's a screenshot of what it currently looks like:

You will note some pain in the ass features. First, take a look at the address bar - only google.com is highlighted. Actually, the rest of the address is "de-highlighted" in that it is set to a dull, pale gray. This is called "domain highlighting" and it's supposed to give users the ability to more readily identify spoofed addresses. Whatever. Next, note the "Favorites" button on the tab line. This gets put there when you choose to not display the "Favorites bar" (when you right-click somewhere in the bar area, a menu appears with checks beside the menus you have chosen to display. In this example, I have turned OFF the favorites bar). Why is the button on the same line as the tabs? I have no idea, but there is NO WAY to move it. Look where the menu bar is (the one with File/Edit/View, etc.) and the Home and Print buttons. Like IE7, there is no way short of installing an addon called IE7Pro can you move these.

Here is what I want the IE8 interface to look like:

Note how clean this looks. How very little real estate is taken up by crap. If you want, you can even hide the Menu bar at top, if you so desire.

The Monk

2009-03-17T11:36:00.001-04:00

Back in 1979, near the end of the 11th Grade, something occurred that made me a bit of a legend at my high school.

First, some background: St. Pius X was a catholic high school in suburban Ottawa, and grades 11 to 13 were not funded by the Ontario government, though grades 9 and 10 were. That meant tuition. Nothing major…something like $500 a year. Since the senior grades were considered private, the school was not as accountable to the province with regards to the quality of their teaching staff. That brings us to Sister Ethel Snetsinger. Now, this woman was destined to be a nun upon being burdened with such an unfortunate name. She looked like her name and if you could picture an “Ethel Snetsinger” you would picture her.

I didn’t dislike her, nor had she a personality that would make anyone dislike her. She was sweet-tempered, but daft. For instance, she would mis-pronounce “gigantic” by making the second-g a soft one (ji-jan-tic).

She reminded me a lot of the rich woman who was cluelessly the butt of the Marx brothers’ jokes. Once, during a discussion of guilds and apprenticeships, someone acted confused and posed this scenario: “If you are…oh, I don’t, a baiter of hooks, and you join the guild, you start off as an apprentice baiter, and then what?” She responded, walking right into the joke with “After several months you become a journeyman baiter, and then, after several years of study and work, you would become a Master baiter.” Seriously, she said that and had a quizzical look on her face when the class erupted in laughter.

In grade 11, I had her for my home room and Ancient History, the first class of the day. Throughout the school year, she would call me Brian, and my friend Brian, she would call Steve. Typically, the half-hour after home room/first class was to be spent in either a daily mass in the school’s chapel, or in study, which meant you stayed in the classroom and did homework, read, etc. In early March of 1979 we were on the topic of monasteries, and how they became the foundations of universities.

On the way home one afternoon, my friends and I had to walk around a pile of garbage bags left out for the next day’s pickup. I noticed a doll sticking out the pile and pulled it out. It was a monk, complete with the Friar Tuck hairdo and cloth robes. I noticed that the head moved, and when I pushed down on it, this huge penis pivoted up through the robes. We all had a great laugh and I put it in my backpack. The next morning, we actually found the box: The Monk with “rising” action.

When I got to class, she wasn’t there yet, and I put the doll on a table beside her desk. Other than my two friends, I didn’t think anyone saw me put it there. Mike was in my home room, but Gary reluctantly had to go to his own class, one floor down. The classroom filled up and first period began. Sister Snetsinger walked in with some sheets and began handing them out, not noticing the monk. About half way through class, as we were all busy with individual work, she finally saw the Monk and picked it up. I began to laugh, which hurt because I was trying to hold it in. She looked at it and asked if anyone knew where this came from, and she commented on how appropriate it was given our current topic.

For the rest of Ancient History, she would periodically pick it up and examine it, but nothing more. When Mass/Study came, most of the class stayed, which is rare. I knew then that something was up and that word of the Monk must have spread. I could see Gary out in the hallway sticking his head around the door to the classroom, until he was caught lingering by a passing teacher. Again and again, throughout study she would pick it up. By this point I was in tears, trying hard not to laugh out loud. Then the bell for the next class rang and we were off.

My second last class of the day was just down the hall, and, as usual, I sat at the back near the open door. Right in the middle of class, there was a loud shriek from down Sister Snetsinger’s classroom, and the sound of students laughing. Something had happened, and I had missed it.

Coincidentally, my last class was in Sister Snetsinger’s room, and I asked the teacher, Ms. Kennedy, if she knew what the scream was all about. She looked up at me through her strange glasses with a knowing half-smile and said she didn’t know.

That was it. Never heard anything more about it. Then, that summer, when I was working up at camp, my mother phoned and told me that during the break in the summer (mid-July) when I was back home, we would have to go to the school to meet the guidance counsellor and vice-principal. Apparently, all my tuition cheques had been returned and I would have to go to the school to discuss the situation. I, honestly, did not even think about the Monk incident.

My parents and I went to the school and were told that it was because I had supposedly asked a provincial school inspector how Sister Snetsinger had done during a surprise audit of her class. THAT was the reason they gave. Something I was not guilty of, which I proclaimed loudly. Nevertheless, Sister Snetsinger had heard me do this, had felt insulted, and for that they were expelling me. Just then, she herself came into the office, looked at me and asked “Brian, what are you doing here.” She had been expecting “Steve” who was Brian. The counsellor and vice principal apologised and took the cheques back. I remember my father remarking that she had me in her class for a full school year, and she still didn’t know who I was.

On the way home, my parents could not figure out how that was an expellable offense. That’s when it hit me. They knew, without proof, about the monk but couldn’t pin it on me. I told my parents…my dad laughed and my mom did that mom-head-shaking thing.

Two years later, in grade 13, I went into the teacher’s lounge to get something and the monk was there on the desk. 3 years after that, I went back to the school to perform in different scenes from plays throughout the school’s 25 year history. Some of the performers were current students, and when they heard my name, asked me if I was the one who put the Monk in Sister Snetsinger’s classroom. In May 2008, on the school’s reunion website, someone posted the story about the Monk.

The Stupidity of a union

2009-02-03T11:11:00.003-05:00

In March of 2008, the Amalgamated Transit Union (ATU local 279, specifically) which represents city of Ottawa bus drivers (OCTranspo) was in a legal strike position. They waited until December 10th to walk off the job. December. In the winter. Just before Christmas. In the middle of a recession. Roads were clogged, businesses lost millions, and everyone across the city was affected.

Over 1000 buses that shuffled some 400,000 people daily around the city sat parked at various bus depot centres for 51 days until the threat of being ordered back to work by the federal government prompted the union to agree to binding arbitration. The union's head, André Cornellier, left the announcement press conference in a stretch limo. In the middle of a recession.

Some blame the mayor and city staff, others the unions. I don't care about the strike, per se. What I do care about is the timing. They could have walked off the job in March of 2008, or waited until the summertime. But that wouldn't have had the desired effect: it wouldn't inconvenience enough people. People who NEED public transportation don't have cars and are usually living on a small income. These people were the ones most affected by this strike. They can't afford taxis (if you could even get one in a reasonable amount of time). There are stories of people walking for hours to and from work, people unable to go to cancer treatments, people losing money because they couldn't GET to work, and people who lost their jobs altogether.

Due to maintenance concerns, it will take almost 2 months before all the buses are running on their usual schedules. More delays, more traffic headaches. In the winter. What do the drivers expect in the way of behaviour from the passengers who return to taking the buses? Everyone, including the mayor, is hoping people are nice and sweet-tempered. But already there are rumblings of reprisals: not paying to get on and telling the driver to "Fuck off" being the main one.

Bernie Gauthier, the chief executive of the Ottawa PR firm Delta Media thinks that many drivers could face irate passengers when bus service resumes.

“I think they will have a hard time coming back. Right now there doesn’t seem to be a lot of sympathy for the drivers and for their union.”

Not "..a lot of sympathy"? Maybe it had to do with going on strike. In the winter. Just before Christmas. In a recession. The drivers pretty much deserve whatever they get.

Wow...

2008-12-15T12:10:00.007-05:00

I haven't posted in a while. It's not that there hasn't been anything to rant about, it's just that there has been TOO much to rant about.

So, let's recap:

1. A bunch of people who were obviously unqualified have been making financial decisions for years. In fact, these idiots were also the ones other people went to for financial advice. As you know, they were more than idiots...they were criminally stupid. The end result is the current recession. Here's my feeling on it:

Then the US government has the flat-out balls to bail out these fuckers, with NO conditions attached to the money.

2. A bunch of people who were obviously unqualified tried to form a coalition with the separatist Bloc Quebecois to usurp power from the duly elected, albeit minority, Conservative government.

3. A bunch of people who were obviously unqualified have been running the crappy car industry giants Ford, Chrysler, and GM which are failing miserably and are screaming for government handouts.

I could rant about the three above, but really, I have lost the energy. Besides, it will all even out when the Zombies take over...

(From: http://shop.cafepress.com/design/13764376)

Ovechkin

2008-10-23T09:48:00.002-04:00

Over the past few years, I have tired of sports in general. From hockey, to baseball, to football, to the Olympics...I just don't care anymore. The superstars of these sports turned me off of them. Prancing boors with more money than brains and terrible work ethics: how many times have you seen a player sign a huge contract, and then slack off?

But, even if you aren't a fan of hockey, there is one player that should make you stand up and take notice. Alexander Ovechkin, who plays for the Washington Capitals, is not the typical sort of superstar. Here's man who signed the richest contract in NHL history - something around $100 Million dollars - and who lives with his parents. This is a guy who, on his birthday, in the preseason, skated hard during an optional practice, when he could have been home relaxing. This guy ENJOYS his sport. Last season, he became the first player to win all of the following trophies in the same year: The Hart (league MVP), the Lester B. Pearson (MVP voted by other players), the Maurice Richard (most goals), and the Art Ross (most points).

In January, during a game against Montreal, he broke his nose, split open his lips, and simply score 4 goals, including the overtime winner. Every goal he scores, he celebrates with an exuberance you have to see to believe. Youtube him. Trust me.

Spore and iPhone/iPod/iCrap

2008-09-16T14:17:00.002-04:00

I can't help but see similarities between the latest PC Game fiasco Spore and any flavour of "i"Anything from Apple.

Spore has come packaged with a terrible DRM application called SecuROM. In a draconian measure, EA (Electronic Arts), the publishers of the game, forced this app on unsuspecting users - that is, nowhere on the box does it say this crap will be installed along with the game. Among other things SecuROM enforces a 3-install limit...which means if you rebuild your machine, you have used up an "install". If you rebuild your machine (or add a harddrive), you have used up an install. After the third time, you will be forced to call EA to plead with them to get another install key. Fun, eh? The idea was this was supposed to end/limit piracy. Laughably, the game was available, DRM free, almost a week before the game hit the shelves.

People have reacted to the DRM and have given Spore a terrible rating on Amazon.

I won't ever install a game onto my PC with this kind of crapware on it. Ever. I will pirate a game first. I hate doing that, since it doesn't support the developers, but I will not cripple my PC with that shit.

How does all that relate to iCrap from Apple? Well, what would you say if I told you that I created an MP3 player that needs propietary software to load music onto it. That this software, while residing on your PC, will take up resources even if you are not using the device and there is nothing you can do about it short of uninstalling the whole application? Would you buy that? Well, if you own any piece of iCrap, you have. I bought my son an LG MP3 player. You plug it into a USB port and it pops up like a removable drive. That's it. Copy the files over and voila. Done.

iCrap is like DRM. Anything that makes your PC more difficult to use is something you should avoid. Anything that requires some convoluted method to get to work, is something that should never have been created.

American Date format

2008-08-18T08:04:00.002-04:00

As a developer, one of the things that piss me right off is the ridiculous default date format used by Microsoft's OSs. When you choose to use the English (US) format for dates and numbers, you get, as the default the following date format: mm/dd/yy (or perhaps you get mm/dd/yyyy which is only marginally better). The international date format is yyyy/mm/dd, and there is an excellent rationale for always using this.

Take today's date: 2008-08-18. In the default setting it would read 08/18/2008. Let's pretend that we are developing a report and need to extract information from a database. If we have the following dates, in the mm/dd/yyyy format and we decide to put it into a character field (for instance, we shove it into a Word document table and the column is set as Text), how would you expect it to sort?

08/18/2008
08/17/2008
08/18/2009
08/19/2008
08/17/2009
08/19/2009

You would think it would sort in proper date order, but you would be wrong. It ends up like this:

08/17/2008
08/17/2009
08/18/2009
08/18/2009
08/19/2008
08/19/2009

Now, you could set it as a Date column, but there are many times you have this in a CSV format and you import into an app that just dumps it into a Text or Char field. Then you end up with this issue. If the dates had been formated correctly: yyyy-mm-dd then it doesn't matter if the data is stored as Text/Char or Date. It would sort correctly no matter what:

2008-08-17
2008-08-18
2008-08-19
2009-08-17
2009-08-18
2009-08-19

There is a much greater problem when the date is stored in the format mm/dd/yy (that is, with only a two digit year). If you get a date that looks like this 04/05/07 how do you know what it is without first knowing the exact format that was used? That could be yy/mm/dd...hell, it could even be dd/mm/yy. An application may not convert the date to its date format correctly at all. If I were to import that into my database, it would become 2004/05/07 and NOT 2007/04/05 as was the intention (mm/dd/yy).

Short dates should be stored as yyyy-mm-dd (I don't care if you use a "-" or a "/", but with a backslash, if you were to use the date in a filename it would give you an error since filenames can't include "/". It means you would have to strip out the "/"s before creating a file. Small thing I know, but still, an extra step is an extra step). This format should be used internationally.

The R-Word and the Olympics

2008-08-13T11:44:00.005-04:00

First...

Are you kidding me? Some people are upset at the use of the words "retard" and "retarded" in the new comedy Tropic Thunder by Ben Stiller.

Any word can be hurtful, depending on its context. How many more perfectly legitimate words are we going to lose to political correctness? What about "bastard"? Will organizations populated by people who were born to out-of-wedlock mothers rise up in ire? If I call someone a "moron" will I be chastized by groups representing the stupid? This is freaking retarded.

Second...

What the fuck gets everyone excited about the Olympics? Men's Synchronized Diving...are you for fucking real? Canada, as of this post, has won NO MEDALS...and some are saying that the lack of support for Canada's swimmers, divers, and pool dancers (oh, sorry...synchronized swimmers) is the problem. That in non-Olympic years, no one gives a shit. Well...newsflash...why should we? Seriously.

Michael Phelps could win 8 gold medals...wow...he's a hero. With that and several years at Harvard Medical, and more sweat and toil he could ever encounter in the pool, he might do something important...like find a cure for cancer.

Now people, re: morons (see above...hope I didn't offend the stupid) want to increase PUBLIC funding of amateur athletes...see...this is the problem with morons:
a government's first responsibilities are to things like Health, Education, and Security...not funding athletes and the arts...not at the expense of those more important responsibilities.

GM Struggling to survive...its own stupidity

2008-07-21T10:00:00.002-04:00

I know I use the words STUPID or STUPIDITY quite often in my blog titles, but this is an apt description of GM....

From an article by the Associated Press entitled "GM in struggle to survive"

General Motors Corp., struggling to survive, will slash jobs, cut production, sell assets and suspend its dividend for the first time in 86 years as it tries to ride out an unprecedented collapse of its core U.S. market.

This is entirely self-inflicted. In the documentary Who Killed The Electric Car, the filmmakers outlined the issues surrounding the EV1 and how it got "killed" by combined stupidity. GM published comments disputing the findings of the film and stated that there was a limited market for EV1s...and then pursued the manufacture of gas guzzling SUVs and trucks in increasingly greater numbers. This action was, of course, incredibly short-sighted, given the state of the oil industry today.

Short-sightedness is a common factor in the fall of many companies, and GM should not be immune to it...that is, NO government bailouts should ensue. What GM meant to state, in their critique of the findings of the film, is that there was no huge short-term demand for the electric car, and most companies only care about short-term gain...to their detriment.

Successful companies need to look further into the future than the next fiscal shareholders' meeting. It needs to look beyond the current economy and focus on what will most likely happen in the next 10 years. It didn't take a genius to figure out that, with the invasion of Iraq in early 2002, oil would start a new rollercoaster ride...and from that event, GM should have begun planning. They didn't.

Toyota did. So did Honda, Nissan, Mazda, Kia, and on and on...just not the big 3 in the States. Stupidity.

Zombies!

2008-06-27T11:05:00.002-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that any movie would be made better by the inclusion of zombies! Any movie!

Take the Titanic, for instance. What if the reason the crew was distracted and ran the ship into the iceberg was because they were busy fighting off the zombie hordes? That would rock.

A movie like Gigli, arguably one of the biggest flops in recent years, would probably have been a great hit had the plot changed from:

The mob tells hitman Gigli to kidnap the mentally handicapped brother of a California DA from a mental hospital. While holding the mental patient in his apartment, Gigli starts to fall for Ricki, a "lesbian assassin", who is sent to assist him.

To:

The mob tells hitman Gigli to kidnap the mentally handicapped brother of a California DA from a mental hospital. While holding the mental patient in his apartment, a zombie outbreak ensues, first engulfing the city then the country. Ricki, a lesbian assassin sent by the mob to assist Gigli, makes it to the apartment in time. The three of them attempt to fight off hungry zombies and try to find a way to survive.

Come on, you telling me you wouldn't PAY to see that?

I guarantee that I can make any movie...ANY movie (Disney cartoons included) into a better film idea by adding zombies! Test me!

Ribbon Bar - Office 2007 and up - Total Crap!

2008-06-25T14:10:00.005-04:00

Recently, I had the unfortunate experience of helping someone with a Word document. Unfortunate, because the person had Office 2007 on their machine. All she wanted to do was PRINT. That's right...here's what the screen sort of looked like:

So...how do you print? If you were a first time user and you opened a document and this is what the interface looked like, what would you do?

Thrash around for a few minutes getting more and more frustrated until you want to grab Bill Gates by the ears and smash his head through your monitor? No? Maybe that's just me.

How about searching vainly, avoiding Help because, frankly, it should be FUCKING OBVIOUS!

Do you think it's in the View bar? Page Layout? Nope, and nope.

See that colourful little ball in the top left of the screen. Yup. You click THAT and this opens:

Then you select Print, then click one of the Print options. Wow...how intuitive.

For fun, go to google and search for "how do you print in word 2007" (try it without the quotes, otherwise you are looking for an exact string). Now, when people have to ask how to PRINT in a Word Processing application, time to go back to the drawing board.

Oh, the wanks and apologists will tell us that we just need to "leeearrrnnnn" it and all will be well. Take a course to learn how to PRINT. Brilliant.

You voluntarily bought this piece of shit...you're an idiot.

Starforce and the stupidity of copy protection

2008-06-16T09:53:00.001-04:00

Many games use a copy protection scheme called Starforce. Essentially, this program installs drivers onto your machine that will not allow you to run an application, in this case a game, without the proper disk. It is incredibly intrusive, though apologists will claim that it helps stop piracy. I doubt it. Very few of these games stay protected for any significant length of time.

Now, for fun, especially if you are a gamer of sorts, take a look at that list of games. Notice anything? Most are nameless crap that no one really ever bought. Was that because of the copy protection. I think it could be...here's my argument:

Many times I have bought a game and when I started playing it, found it sucked. Like Prey, for instance. Graphically beautiful, Prey gets dull really, really quickly. Of course, I haven't played it since I first picked it up, which means I am out $60. What I usually do is get a "cracked" copy of a game I am interested in, try it out, and if I like it, I buy it. F.E.A.R was one, I liked it enough to buy a copy (though it was on sale :) ), and, more significantly, Morrowind. Played it for an hour or two, then raced to the store to get a copy. Brilliant game. Could I have gotten the same thing with a demo version, probably. But, I had a copy, tried it, and liked it.

I have since bought all the expansions and the newest in the Elder Scrolls series, Oblivion. Would you consider that a net gain, or loss for Bethesda (publishers of the games)? Net gain, I would say, and a considerable one at that. The only thing I do download, still, is a No CD crack (for every game I buy). This is so I don't have to constantly put the disc in the drive each time I want to play. I hate that.

I recently purchased a game I found in the bargain bin of a Giant Tiger: Rush for Berlin. I only paid $3, so no big deal. I was going to give it to my Dad, who has been looking for a good WWII strategy game. I got it home, and read through the EULA. One section caught my eye:

...might install software alleged to interfere with your installed software or hardware...uninstalling the game will not remove Starforce...

I couldn't believe it, but really shouldn't have been surprised. I thought, however, that given the sale price, and the fact that the game was 3 years old, that they would have released a patch that does away with Starforce...many games do that (once everyone who really wanted a copy has one). Nope.

I will not EVER install something with this kind of copy protection. This only penalizes the legitimate buyer, not the pirate. Starforce has been known to screw up optical disk drives to the point that they can no longer function. Fun, eh?

The frightening part is that bill C61 was recently tabled in Canada, which makes the US DMCA look like a wimp. One part talks about making it illegal to circumvent copy protection, even if for personal use (such as the No CD crack)! Excuse me? This is insane.

This will drive me to pirate shit, just to piss them off.

Yes, stuff will get pirated, and that sucks. However, not every pirated game, or any kind of software for that matter, is a lost sale to the publisher. You cannot make a one-to-one correlation. Too many times games are pirated that the person has no intention of buying, not because they are cheap, but because they either can't afford it (Microsoft Office, anyone) and/or because they wouldn't have bought it in the first place (Prey comes to mind...if I had pirated it first, I wouldn't have bought it) :)

I just want a phone!

2008-06-10T14:41:00.003-04:00

Wow...Apple has announced details on their new iPhone 3G which, among other things is cheaper than the original iPhone (which makes the early adopters look like morons...but I digress). According to Steve Jobs...

The new iPhone, sporting a thinner and sleeker look, will support faster 3G (third-generation) broadband wireless networks and come with built-in GPS (Global Positioning System) capabilities, Jobs said. Support for 3G networks will enable the new iPhone to download data up to 2.8 times faster than the earlier model, Jobs said. Built-in GPS will make it easier for users to navigate roads.
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The iPhone 3G will come with a 3.5-inch screen and have better battery life, with talk time of five hours, stand-by time of 300 hours, six hours of high-speed browsing time, 20 hours of audio and seven hours of video, Jobs said. Some who had previously bought iPhones complained about its battery life and that was a problem that Apple needed to solve with the new iPhone, Jobs said.

It will probably cure cancer, except the brain cancer you will get from using the damn thing all the time, do your laundry, and balance your checkbook.

Here's my problem: I just want a phone. A simple, freaking phone. The only "option" I want is Text Messaging. That's it. Just a phone. Only someone who is extremely busy needs something like this. I never want to be that busy, or that fucking dorky.

Please, does anyone just make a cellphone anymore?

Sex and the City

2008-05-30T08:04:00.002-04:00

All spring I have been seeing list of the most anticipated movies for this summer, and somehow, inexplicably, Sex and the City kept popping up on that list (see Yahoo Movies for an example). Apparently, there is a lot of buzz going around Hollywood that this movie might be huge and do some really big box office. Why is that, you ask? Well, Harry Medved from Fandango, the online movie ticket site said:

"We can't remember the last time a movie has created so much anticipation among female moviegoers from their 20s through their 40s."

There's the key demographic you look for in a summer flick, no?

I have asked female friends of mine, quite a few really, and none even watched Sex and the City when it was on TV. In fact, none are "anticipating" the film with any degree of enthusiasm.

This is my prediction: a moderate opening weekend, simply because there's really nothing else opening up against it, and then it will fizzle.

Dennis Julien

2008-05-05T08:07:00.003-04:00

Last Monday, a guy I used to hang around with, but who I haven't seen in a couple of years, passed away. I was a regular reader of Dennis' blog (dennis.ca - see my list of links), and have always been amazed at his incredible photography. I think his site is down now, which is a shame.

Several years ago, we shared a room in Vegas when a bunch of us went down - the excuse that time was a double bachelor party...though the guys have never needed a reason. It was on that trip that I got to know him better than the few years we worked together.

Back home in Ottawa, he told me about the day his sister died. I don't think I will ever forget it. I don't know if he ever told anyone else, though I am sure he did. He asked that I not mention it, so it's not like it ever came up in general conversation.

The story was heart-wrenching, and I think he told it because he had to. I remember mentioning that he should write it down, perhaps post it on his blog. He said he might, one day. I don't know if he ever posted something about it on some other blog he might have had, or perhaps he has it written down somewhere, but never had the strength to publish it.

So most of us will remember Dennis as the big guy sitting at the Morley, beer in hand, cracking jokes and defending the Leafs. We will remember him as incredibly smart, and a fantastic photographer...and if I recall, a terrible gambler (hey, he rooted for the Leafs!).

I will also remember him as a guy who told me about his most painful moment...about every emotion he experienced on that day, and how it still affected him. Before that, he was just one of the guys, someone I knew through work, and the Vegas trip. After that story, though, he became...well...Dennis.

Cheers, buddy.

Stuff

2008-04-28T09:51:00.002-04:00

Just a short-story (somewhat dated) I wrote a while ago...hope the 2 or 3 readers of my blog enjoy it :)
*******************************

I remember everything like it was yesterday. Well, actually, it was yesterday. I figured I had better write this all down before I forgot most of it...or all of it. It was cold out, below freezing. The frost clung tightly to every metal post and window pane in town. Odd for mid-July, I thought. Damn strange really, and not the least convenient since I had prepared for a lovely summer day by hastily donning my swimming trunks and a t-shirt, and had already began walking to the beach. I was halfway there before I realised that the reason I was shaking was NOT due to an adrenaline rush of anticipatory excitement. And, besides, my legs had turned a bland shade of puce-blue.

Now, usually I'm not one to complain. I mean, weather does as weather does, and any attempt to truly predict it is futile at best, but this was more than a little annoying. To whom should I have directed my complaints? The government could be blamed for a lot of things, but the weather was outside of their jurisdiction (fortunately, since that meant they were unable to tax it). The only person I thought could be held liable was God Himself, or Herself depending on your political-correctness.

So I hauled my shivering tukus over to my local RC church, whereupon I began berating the nearest religious icon for a most annoying bout of unseasonable weather.

“Okay God!” I said, rather presumptuously I thought. “Okay. I know You have got to be busy with running the entire universe and all, but I think You had better give some thought to the weather down here. Things are going haywire! Hot and sunny one second, freezing cold the next. Hey, I’m on holidays PAL!” By now my voice had risen to an almost deafening whisper, and since my courage was bolstered by the fact that I hadn’t been turned into a pillar of salt or zapped by a bolt of lightning, I began to speak even louder. “So..so...I think you had better get Yer butt down here and fix a few things before I get angry!”

A Priest, overhearing me, began to, in turn, berate me for my altogether sacrilegious and blasphemous display. When I surreptitiously pointed out the startling weather by grabbing the Priest by the front of his robes and slamming his head outside an open window, the Priest took one look outside, excused himself and stepped out the main church doors. Roughly three seconds later the Priest returned, a look of mixed disbelief and consternation on his face, and began whispering some unpriestly comments to the religious icon he had just accused me of practising heresy upon.

Figuring that a necessary scolding of the powers-that-be was well under way, by a source much better designed than I for such an undertaking, I hightailed my now warm patooties back to my apartment for a quick change of clothes. Several minutes later, winter boots and all, I proceeded out my front door once more right into a heat wave of noticeably more July-like conditions. By now I was becoming slightly bemused, as had several of my neighbours, some of which stood statue-still outside dressed in a hybrid combination of beach wear and ski suits.

I promptly retreated back into my abode, stripped naked, and sat my bare butt down in front of the television, determined to hear the official version of the events taking place; however, The Weather Network was a scene of uncontrolled chaos. Three weatherpersons had hanged themselves in desperation and the crew was playing chicken with the cameras. While somewhat amusing, I was determined to discover the wherefores, howtos and suchwhys about the recent, transitory weather patterns that plagued my otherwise dull and uninteresting life. I flipped it over to the All Religion Channel, to get a spiritual perspective only to be presented with another chaotic sight.

A Catholic Priest was quite busily defending himself with a candlestick while an old, bearded rabbi circled him warily. In the background, a Muslim smiled craftily, waiting for a chance to jump in. It seemed that each faction had accused the other of being the cause of this calamitous climate - something to do with the blasphemy of unbelievers. Just as the Catholic priest gained the upper hand by ramming the candlestick into the unprotected eye of the rabbi, a stray bolt of lightning turned the three combatants into crispy tots where they stood. The All Religion Channel, of course, cut immediately to a commercial for Depends undergarments.

CBC Newsworld was covering a press conference by the National Action Committee on the Status of Women, who were demanding more federal funding and whining that this was all a white-male plot designed to usurp the rightful control of females over the world. In the background, one of the gray-suited, gray-haired feminists could be seen giving a salutary “Sieg Heil”.

So then I figured that CNN would be the best choice, but discovered them still covering the Impeachment Trial of William Jefferson Clinton, 3142 day. Unfortunately, the Senate was slow to realize that Bill Clinton hadn’t been President for several years, and that, in fact, he had died not long after after his second term ended, after Hillary beat the crap out of him. His daughter, Chelsea had long since changed her name and was working as a professional Roller Derby queen/stripper named Monica Lewd-insky.

At that point, my phone rang, and I reached over to answer it.

“Hello” I said, not surprisingly.

“Hello, this is the operator, I have a long distance call from Acturus Prime Central Commander Poof’lie, will you accept the charges?”, intoned the voice of the operator. Now, normally, I would assume that I was the brunt of a weird joke from one of my equally weird friends and would hang up the phone, but given the rather odd events of the day, I decided that I had better accept this call.

“Er...yes, okay. I will accept the charges. Thank you operator.” I answered. There was a momentary click, a mumble from the operator, and then a voice boomed through the speaker of my phone.

“EARTHLING! WE ARE IN ORBIT AROUND YOUR EARTH AND ARE EVEN NOW CONTROLLING YOUR WEATHER. SURRENDER TO US OR WE WILL ANNIHILATE YOU!” Unfortunately, I only heard the word EARTHLING, actually, just part of the word…the “ER” sound. The volume of the voice was such that I was sent rocketing across the room only to crash into my mural of jungle cats. After the ringing in my ear, and the spinning of the room, stopped , I picked up the phone to hear....

“...Hello...hello...pitiful earthling? Are you there? We apologize for the volume, we have now since turned it down. We are waiting patiently for your surrender.”

I was a slightly bemused by the proceedings and still hadn’t fully recovered from being turned into a wall-hanging, but attempted to respond anyways.

“YEAH, I HEAR YA. BUT I THINK YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY THE PRIME MINISTER OR SOMEONE LIKE THAT.” I yelled. I had to wait several seconds before I could hear someone, or something, shuffle itself off of a floor and return to the phone.

“Oh, sorry about that” The alien said “Would you happen to have this prime minister person’s number?”

“Um...no. Not quite. But you could try directory assistance at 411. They could probably help you out.” With that, the self-proclaimed Central Commander mumbled a few quick apologies, and sullenly hung up.

Suddenly, I felt in need of a very long, hot bath. In a surreal state of consternation, I shuffled myself over to the bathroom. Roughly twenty minutes later I was able to figure out the knobs and run myself a bath. My jumbled mind had finally settled down to something at least approximating hysteria, and I was just about to tootsie-test the steaming bath water, when the phone rang yet again.

Cursing the gods who toyed with me constantly, I went to the phone, noticing in passing through a window that the weather had seemed to turn back into winter.

“Hello?!” I said, curtly and with definite authority.

“Umm...hello...earthling? This is Acturus Prime Central Commander Poof’lie. Umm..earthling, I hate to bother you again, but I seem to be unable to reach this prime minister person. The being you call directory assistance was singularily unable to provide me with any assistance. Perhaps I could impose upon you yet again?” The being asked somewhat sweetly.

“Why should I help you?” I asked. “You want to take over my planet and subjugate the billions of inhabitants, turning them into your personal slaves.”

“Yes, I guess that’s true...however, we could make it...um...excuse me...did you say Billions?”

“Er..yeah...the population of the Earth is something like 5 Billion or so. Why?” I asked.

“Excuse me for a moment” With that, the being seemed to put down whatever it had been speaking into, and barked a series of outlandishly gutteral commands to what I could only assume was a subordinate. I heard a few thumps, a pitiful squeek, and after a few seconds Central Commander Poof’lie returned to the phone...or whatever.

“Umm..Earthling...we wish to offer our gravest apologies. It appears that the late former First Class Planet Examiner Perf’ril made a slight error estimating the population of your planet. His excuse was that he couldn’t imagine a paltry, little backwater marble of a planet harbouring that many semi-intelligent inhabitants, and thus arbitrarily took off a few zeros from his calculations...well...five zeros, actually. We...umm..well...we are unprepared at this time to continue with the planned invasion of your Earth. Please, disregard the preceeding comments...in fact, disregard the entire conversation. Thank you for your aid. Good-bye.”

With that, he/it hung up. I only remembered to hang up the phone several hours later when my hand cramped up and the blood drained from it. It took several more minutes to actually pry my stiffened claw from the receiver. After that I poured myself a stiff drink, flipped on the tube, and hummed along with the opening theme of The Simpsons….

The End.

Political-correctness stoops to new low

2008-04-15T08:18:00.003-04:00

News from about a week ago, but just getting to blogging about it now. An 8-year old boy in Westminster, Colorado was suspended from school for 3 days for sniffing a SHARPIE. That's right. He liked the smell of the pen and sniffed it, and the teacher told the principal, who then suspended him. For sniffing...a sharpie.

This from the article:

Dr. Eric Lavonas says non-toxic markers like Sharpies, while pungent-smelling, cannot be used to get high.

"I don't know whether it would be possible for a real overachiever to figure out a way to get high off them," Lavonas said. "But in regular use, it's just not something that's going to happen."

"If you went to Costco and bought 50 bags of Sharpies and did something to them, maybe there's a way to get creative and make it happen," Lavonas said.

Adams County School District 50 leaders were unfazed by the poison control center's medical opinion.

"Principals make hundreds of decisions everyday based on our best judgment. And in that time, smelling that marker, I felt like, 'Wow, that's a very serious marker,'" Benisch said.

Despite the medical evidence, Benisch promised to draw an even clearer line on markers.

"We've purged every permanent marker there is in this building," he said.

Behold the face of stupidity bordering on pure fucking bureaucratic evil, one Chris Benisch:

Probably small-dicked and picked on most of his life, Benisch more than likely became a teacher, then principal, so he could mold the minds of children and hold power for once in his soon-to-be-an-internet-laughingstock life. If I was a parent of a child in his school, I would either be demanding this fuck nuts resignation or outright firing. At the very least, I would kick his fat ass in the parking lot.

Ottawa Senators and Mediocrity

2008-04-09T09:49:00.003-04:00

I occasionally check out and contribute to a website called Hockey Trade Rumors (careful, there are a lot of popups if you are using IE6/7...and they spell Rumours that way, not me :) ). Back on February 26th, after the NHL trade deadline, I commented on a thread and wrote:

My prediction is a 7th seed going into the playoffs and a quick exit in the 1st round. I don't see this team pulling together and rising above their current mediocrity to avoid this fate.

I am a Sens fan, by the way.

When I wrote this, the Sens were still in 1st in the Eastern Conference. I later added:

The Sens have NOT played well since their 15-2 start. In fact, they are below .500 since that start.

At this rate, I will revise my prediction of a 7th place finish and actually predict them to be OUT of the playoffs altogether. This team has never shown the fortitude to pull out of slides...ever.

Ok. So I was ONE WIN wrong about this. In fact, had Carolina won, Ottawa would have been out of the playoffs altogether.

I bring this up because of the slew of articles decrying fans in Ottawa. In particular, Kelly Egan of the Ottawa Citizen wrote a column entitled: O Sens Army, where art thou?. He goes on to scold the fans who have seemingly deserted the team...fans who last year proudly stuck Sens flags out the windows of their cars in the thousands. He wonders "...whether the city has, under its pallid, bureaucratic exterior, a fickle heart." He later goes on to write:

In any professional sport, really, there is one champion; everyone else loses. Yet there are millions of fans. Why?

Because the plight of the fan is to make peace with losing. The fun part is to not look beyond one game, or even one period. Because sport and sport-watching, is the moment, not the end.

I would put it to Mr. Egan that the heart isn't fickle...it is both discerning and realistic. I didn't pick the Canadian's Men hockey team to win ANY medals at the last Olympics. Not because I wasn't a "fan", but because I understand that the team that was chosen was old and slow and couldn't compete at the Olympic level. I was right. Doesn't make me "fickle"...it makes me smart. I always wonder at the legion of fans of teams that do not have a chance at winning much, if anything. Take Major League Baseball, for instance. Why would "fans" of a terrible team (take the Detroit Tigers...as of this post, they are 0-7), teams that have no hope of ever winning because they cannot afford the astronomical salaries, bother going to or watching a game? What is the freaking point? The joy of the sport? Who likes to lose on a nearly constant basis? Well, except for fans of the Maple Leafs.

I must contradict Mr. Egan when he writes that "..sport and sport-watching, is the moment, not the end." It most certainly IS about the end, otherwise there is no point at all.

Government waste

2008-03-14T10:39:00.002-04:00

If you want further proof that government bureaucracies are incompetent and mishandle millions of dollars of tax payers' money, then read this:

As a consultant with the federal government, I design customized Help Desk and Asset Management solutions using an application called the Action Request System (aka Remedy ARS). Without getting technical, and in simple terms, it is a development environment that provides a layer on top of a database. Using this tool, I design forms and code to store information and process business rules. There are two approaches to providing a client with a solution: fully-customized or out-of-the-box. Fully customized applications can cost a lot in the short term, as the client has to pay for the development, from the ground up, of a full-fledged application. However, once developed, there are no licensing fees other than for the ARS layer which can be about $50,000 a year (including the licensing fees for the database). The out-of-the-box solution seemingly has one advantage, that is you can install it and work away. However, there are significant yearly licensing fees for the applications, broken into modules, as well as the ARS layer itself. These costs can be as high as $250,000 a year!

Fully-customized solutions can be problematic if there has been no proper development process. The application usually ends up looking like a patchwork of old, out-of-date code coupled with newer code...a series of bandage code holding it all together. However, every piece of it can be modified and cleaned up as per requirements, and an organization's business rules can be incorporated as they see fit. Some division needs a certain set of fields on this form to track specific asset data? No problem.

An out-of-the-box application is only grudgingly modifiable, the idea being that the client should follow the application's business rules, rather than the other way around...and heaven forbid if the organization wants to update to the latest version...any customized work will have to be reapplied, usually painfully.

But the out-of-the-box application can work if there is a proper business analysis performed and if every section of the organization buys into it. If not, it will be hell. This is where government bureaucracies have serious issues.

I have been developing in Remedy ARS since 1998. I have seen dozens of "solutions" and implementations. Some were abysmal failures...most middling so. The common element amongst the failures was the inability of the client to actually understand their role in the process. Governments are famous for this.

For example, a series of upper-level managers (Director Generals and Assistant Deputy Ministers) will sit in a room and discuss what they "need", without actually understanding the "need" since they are so far removed from people who actually DO the work, that their concept of "need" rarely translates into the needs of the department. What these managers need is something to make them feel that they are relevant. So, some smartasses come up with something called ITIL (The Information Technology Infrastructure Library (ITIL) is a set of concepts and techniques for managing information technology (IT) infrastructure, development, and operations). This money making scheme...oops...I mean concept...was created, of course, by one of the most bureaucratized countries on Earth...the UK. ITIL is simply a common framework for IT management...it is supposed to be a starting point for managers to restructure they way they provide IT services to their clients. However, as with all things IT, it has become a buzzword which has excited managers. You say ITIL to a group of managers, and the collective saliva drooling from their mouths could create a new oasis in the Sahara.

Managers in the government love "shiny" things, and since they are not spending any of their own money directly, have no qualms about pissing it down the toilet. They will never be truly held accountable, so they don't care. Sales people know this, and will happily provide rigged demonstrations of their "products" (rigged in the sense that there is only a bit of data...so the application runs smoothly...and no one else is working on the app at the same time...which makes everything really, really quick). Then they flash some nice pie charts, a view fancy reports, some other useless bells-and-whistles, and they will have successfully distracted the managers who, at this point, only see the shiny things. One of the shiniest parts of the out-of-the-box solution from BMC (BMC Remedy IT Service Management 7.x: Application) is their CMDB (Configuration Management Database...from Wikipedia, Configuration Management (CM) is an Information Technology Infrastructure Library (ITIL) IT Service Management (ITSM) process that tracks all of the individual Configuration Items (CI) in an IT system which may be as simple as a single server, or as complex as the entire IT department). A BMC technical rep gave a demo before which he mentioned that to successfully implement a CMDB, there should be months of business analysis. Roughly an hour later, a government manager asked when it could be installed. The BMC sales rep, also in the room, almost fainted he got a hard-on so quickly.

As a sop to proper business analysis, they are now paying some out of town firm $1000 a day to do a 21 day gap analysis. 21 days. Amazing.

This is what will happen: after spending several hundred thousand dollars, if not millions when you take salaries into account, the application will be put into production. People will complain that it is too slow, especially those in missions, like some countries in Africa which still use 56K lines; tons of customizations will be made; the application will only be partially used, not at all justifying its expenses; and then the managers who perpetrated this fiasco will be reorganized out, suffering no penalty for their stupidity. The team responsible for maintaining the app will take all the shit. Then they will have to upgrade to the newest version of the application, since the old version will no longer be supported. They will have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars more to reapply the customizations...and the circle continues.

****************Update March 17, 2008****************
The consultant brought in to do the gap analysis is already 2 days behind the original time estimate of 21 days. He's been here for 4 days :)

Just let 'em die

2008-02-13T14:48:00.003-05:00

The more I hear and read about the US health care....um..."system(?)", the more I believe it is an exceptionally sound and viable model which should be adopted by the rest of the world. I mean, what other country has the balls to tell its middle class "Fuck you, you can't afford health insurance, you die. Too bad". That's some refreshing attitude to take towards the bulk of your citizenry. Soon, there will only be two classes of people in the US: the rich who can afford, well, anything; and the poor who exist on the largesse of the government through programs like medicaid and food stamps. Since the poor are much more easily controlled, this will allow the government to do what it wants, without fear of reprisal. The "unwashed masses" will be just that.

With most of what and how they think controlled by the media, Americans are unable to rationally resolve any issue that they face as a country. The media needs crime and wars to entice viewers, so no matter how ridiculous the claims made by government as a reason for going to war, for instance, they will be championed by the media because "It sells". Think I am being cynical? How many intrepid reporters delved into the reality of WMDs in Iraq? So, now that the media is so closely tied to the corrupt and incompetent governments which they were originally a check against, they will not report fairly on any issues to which the government is opposed. This includes health care, of course.

But, as far as Mr. and Mrs. Joe Average is concerned, as long as their televisions spew WWF and some evangelical bullcrap on a mostly daily basis, they don't care.

She Amazed Me redux

2008-02-07T14:54:00.000-05:00

This is a follow-up to my previous blog entry regarding the nonsensical song "She Amazed Me" from the Dilbert Blog.

This song was put together from random lyrics submitted by people from around the world. Okay, someone painstakingly went through the 600+ comments and pulled out what they felt were the best lyrics, and I can only assume that they were attempting to provide some sort of cohesiveness to the lyrics, but still..."She Amazed Me" has got to be the first OPEN SOURCE song in history. What does that say about songwriters? I mean, someone still had to put music to it, and that takes talent, but the actual words ...come on...you can stream crap together, put a catchy beat to it, and belt out a hit. This song isn't a hit (yet?), but would it be if it had been recorded by someone famous? I think it might be.

It's been a couple of weeks, and I am still getting a huge chuckle out of it.

She Amazed Me

2008-01-31T21:51:00.000-05:00

Scott Adams, the creator of the Dilbert comic strip, has a blog and recently asked his readers to participate in an experiment. His idea was to have "...nonsense lyrics that could be combined into a hit song, under the theory that many hit songs have nonsense lyrics, so writing them can't be that hard." Each poster was to have written two lines that sound profound but really weren't. I threw in a couple of nonsense lyrics myself.

In a follow-up blog entry, The Hit Song You Wrote, he mentioned that a German band by the name of Rivo Drei took the best of the lyrics and put them into a song which they recorded called "She Amazed Me".

She Amazed Me
------------------------

She had runaway eyes and marshmallow kittens.
My heart heard a dream like ten thousand mittens.

A tear in her hand
She spread deja-vu all across the land.

br:
She spinned round and round with a frog in her ear
Whispering fountains and rocks she couldn't hear

ch:
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.

Too many times I have seen the thunder
Flashes of sound, soul-rending sunder

A letter colored blue...
Now the nine bells are ringin' and singin' it too

br:
She spinned round and round with a frog in her ear
Whispering fountains and rocks she couldn't hear

ch:
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.

br:
Little did she know they were coming too soon,
Both those kittens ran off to the moon

ch:
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
With splendid reprisal, she took to the sky.
My tear drops asunder. No shadow. No cry.
Apple core ostriches dancing like fairies.
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.

The interesting part, and this is entirely me tooting my own horn :), is that the band selected my two lines :) Just go to the first Dilbert entry I have linked to above (the word "experiment") and do a search for the word "thunder". :) Note the name in red underneath that entry....yay...it's me :)

AS I write this, there are about 300 google hits for this song :) The number has increased from 65 entries yesterday. Too funny.

Teenager learned her lesson?

2008-01-24T08:43:00.000-05:00

Interesting story out of Victoria, B.C. about a 15-year old girl who was tethered in a padded cell at a police station for four hours. On the surface, you might be disgusted by the image of a prone 15 year old girl lying, alone, in a padded cell:

Terrifying, isn't it? Or is it really? Let's analyse the story. First, she was drunk and causing a disturbance...

[the]...girl was drunk, swearing at officers, had to be forcibly removed from a police car, was kicking the door of the cell, and grabbed one officer on the arm.

. Here's a girl who is obviously out of control. The police found her stumbling around after being unable to enter her house because she had lost her key, which implies that her parents weren't home. Where were they? Who lets their 15 year old daughter out past midnight?

You can call the treatment at the hands of the police a bit cruel, but I guarantee she learned some sort of lesson. Now, of course, her parents might sue the police. Typical. Your daughter was stumbling drunk, abusive, out-of-control, but the police need to be sued. The parents should be charged with being incompetent...too bad there isn't such a law.

Life is funny and surprising

2008-01-05T01:04:00.000-05:00

It's strange how life works. I mean, most of us live day-to-day with a belief that we have some purpose and direction. Even those of us who are not particularly focused seem to have goals, even if they might seem rather unambitious to others. But life has an odd way of throwing situations at us that force us to transform. The trick is to not try to fight things we do not have any hope of changing; to understand that life is like a river, and at times we are swept along the current. I know that sounds counter-productive. I know that there are tons of books out there written by people with purportedly more credentials than I that tell us we must always strive and fight for what we want. You know what, anyone who has actually LIVED understands that single-mindedness is ridiculous...and ultimately destructive. Those who do not learn to allow life to happen sometimes, are usually doomed to suffer a major shock when their world twists around them. Britney Spears is a perfect example. Life threw something at her she didn't expect, and to quote The Hives

Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick … Boom!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah
I was right you were wrong
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Going, going you’re gone!
I saw you yesterday, waiting too much
Till it slipped through your hands
And then you stagger to your feet and out the door
‘Cause there’s no second chance!

Her ordeal is, of course, an example of a life gone awry. It isn't all doom and gloom. Sometimes life grants, not so much throws, you something unexpected that could turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Oh, it can fundamentally change everything, and like any change, can have repercussions that cause you or people you care about some pain, but pain is not always a bad thing. It is how we deal with the pain that can be the problem.

Personally, I acknowledge that I have made stupid decisions and choices in my life. Some that have caused pain to me, and certainly others. But I believe I have learned from each and every one of them. If not, then I am not as smart as my ego has allowed me to think I am.

I think life has granted me something recently that might fundamentally shift my life. I am not sure what will happen, but I think I will just lay back in my boat, cradle my head in my hands as I stare upwards, and let the current take me where it will. I think I will enjoy the ride for once. Just in case, though, I better bring along a life jacket.

Google Blocking

2007-12-13T08:42:00.000-05:00

Some more ways to speed up your browsing...if you are using Firefox...if you are using IE (any version) you are either a moron or confined to it by your organization.

Using Firefox, and the AdBlock Plus and BlockSite addons, add the following to their list of filters:

http://*.googlesyndication.com/*
http://www.cliqin.com/*
https://ssl.google-analytics.com
https://ssl.google-analytics.com/*
www.google-analytics.com/*
http://www.facebook.com/beacon/*

Now, Google-Analytics adds a java script file called urchin.js into your temporary internet files folder. This script is used to by webmasters to track who visits their sites, from where, and what they are clicking on.

To further block this site, search for your Hosts file (usually found in C:\Windows\System32\Drivers\etc\ and add the following two lines:

# [Google Inc]
127.0.0.1 www.google-analytics.com

Happy surfing.

A Different Christmas Poem

2007-12-04T12:12:00.000-05:00

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Private, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at Vimy on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the streets of Arnheim ,
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But his wife sends me pictures, he's sure got a nice smile."
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, and the white .. the Canadian flag.

"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life for my sister or brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife, daughters, or sons."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

Speeding up your browsing

2007-12-04T10:20:00.000-05:00

I have been playing around with a few addons for Firefox and have two I can recommend which will go a long way to speed up and secure your web surfing.

Adblock Plus (also get Adblock Filterset.G Updater). Combined, these two will prevent most ads from cluttering up webpages, meaning they will take less time to load.

Also get BlockSite, with which you can list sites you want to block. I block www.google-analytics.com/* and http://www.facebook.com/beacon/*. Just make sure you turn off Enable Warnings in BlockSite's options, or you will get that annoying yellow bar at the top of your screen.

I find that blocking google-analytics speeds up web page access. I am starting to make a list of other non-essential websites which pages seem to link to on a constant basis....each one adding to their overall load times. Like www.cliqin.com/* (sorry Cardiogirl...your page loads much faster without it :) ).

So, when a web page loads, take a look at all the stuff being accessed (bottom left of your browser usually). Play around with adding these to BlockSite's list. Let me know :)

A couple of things I have learned

2007-11-17T18:17:00.000-05:00

A couple of things I have learned over the past 45 years.

One is to never, ever give a restaurant more than one chance. Ever. There are too many restaurants around to bother with one that gives crappy food and/or service. Take this evening, for instance. I went with my oldest son and niece to an East Indian restaurant called the Taj. We sat down and waited about 5 minutes before we were even given menus. We weren't asked if we wanted any drinks. Then another couple sat down, and the waiter took their orders BEFORE us. Nice, eh. We walked out, but not before I told the waiter (owner?) that we would never be back. The same thing happened at a Boston Pizza once. We stood at the front for about 10 minutes and not one employee came up to get us a table.

Another thing I learned is that no matter how terrible a government employee is, you can be damned sure he or she will never be fired. Short of killing someone, or perhaps raping a co-worker, a government employee has a job for life. Incompetence that would otherwise make a person unemployable in the private sector is grounds for a promotion in the government. Think I jest...guess again. The only way to get a useless waste of flesh out of a mission critical position is to get him an acting assignment or lateral transfer out of the area. Many employees who shift positions a lot in the government do so, not because they are so dynamic that they are in demand, but because they wear out their welcome and get moved along to be someone else's problem. There is one in my area right now. I have been there since 2005 and I have absolutely no clue what this guy does. At all. I couldn't even guess. I have heard that he has been given several different projects throughout the past few years, and has completed none. Of course, his lack of success is not his fault, according to him. It is the fault of everyone else. As is his butchering of the english language. Do you think he got to his position (CS-2 - would be a junior to intermediate programmer in the real world) because of his skill set or because he speaks a particular language that is under-represented in the IT sector? I'll give you 10 guesses.

Windows Vista...and the point is?

2007-11-05T14:36:00.000-05:00

Really...I have been waiting for THE reason(s) to move to Windows Vista. There haven't been any. Vista is a huge resource hog, requiring a huge amount of hard drive space, and RAM, to run (based on their minimum requirements!)

Microsoft itself has a list comparing Windows XP to Vista:

Find, fix, and share photos: Organize, edit, and share your favorite photos with family and friends using Windows Photo Gallery.

Er...okay. How is that any different than any number of 3rd party programs out there that do the same thing?

Find almost anything: Find documents, e-mail, photos, and more in a snap through Instant Search.

Do you really need to constantly search for files? Really? I might do this about once a month...even then, the Search function in XP is fine. Regular users probably store everything in their My Documents folder anyways...how hard is that to search?

Turn any room into a media room: Manage and enjoy digital photos, music, TV shows, and movies in your living room with Windows Media Center.

Well...XP has this already, but how many people out there actually do this? I know of maybe two, and I believe they both use the XBox to do that, not their PCs.

Play the way you want: Easily install, organize, and play games using Windows Game Explorer.

Interesting, I must admit. Overkill though.

Make movie magic: Retain high-definition quality as you capture, edit, and publish movies from a video camcorder with Windows Movie Maker. NOTE: the HD part only works with the Premium editions.

Now, really...this is a main selling feature? The ability to make a fucking movie. Come on. Buy a Mac if you want to do that. Jesus.

There are other comparisons, mostly in the security area and things like Parental Controls. But is the cost worth all of this?

Upgrade Costs are as follows:
Home Basic is $129, Home Premium is $179, the Ultimate is $299

To purchase the full version:
Home Basic is $259, Home Premium is $299, and the Ultimate is $499!

Many of the features they tout aren't even available on the Home Basic edition. In fact, most of their security and backup features are only available on the over-priced Ultimate version.

This is insane, given the fact that you will have to shell out more bucks for Vista-compatible hardware (many older devices are NOT compatible), the cost of "upgrading" to Vista makes the whole process worthless. Why bother? You would end up with a slower PC with more "hidden" controls (i.e. difficult to figure out how to change settings...MS wants you to run things THEIR way, not YOUR way).

Too many idiots have already gone to Vista. They should have their heads examined.

Gonna shop in the States

2007-10-30T20:21:00.001-04:00

Well...the Canadian dollar just hit 104.92 cents US! I have already ordered things from online, US sources, meaning I have saved approximately 4 cents on the dollar. Plus the simple fact that things are STILL CHEAPER IN THE US! For instance, a couple of months ago I purchased a pocket book. The back cover lists the following: $7.99 US/$11.99 Cdn! If I purchased this book in the States it would cost me about $7.60 Canadian...a savings of more than 4 bucks.

So...with Christmas coming up, I am going to take a trip (whether by car or by internet) to the States to shop. If I spend $500 on Christmas gifts I can still save $24 just on the exchange, not to mention the already built-in cheaper prices.

Other people are doing the same thing, and Canada Post can't handle the increase in mail traffic.

Sharon Budnarchuk, co-owner of the independent Audrey's Books in Edmonton, said she is selling U.S. books at the lower American rate until Dec. 31. She hopes the move will help Audrey's keep its customers.

"We were starting to worry because of what was going on at the store where our customers were looking at every price and leaving it saying, 'We are going to look around.' We know exactly what that meant. They were going online," she said.

"They tell us, 'This is not fair. Our dollar is worth more.' Consumers have had enough."

Heh. Screw retailers. Viva free trade.

Would this be wrong?

2007-10-29T12:09:00.000-04:00

I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone several months ago regarding hiring practices as they pertain to gender.

I mentioned that if I were looking for someone to take charge of a large multi-million (or billion) dollar project, one that would take an estimated 1-2 years to complete, I would not hire a woman of child-rearing age unless I knew she intended not to have children. Sounds terrible, right? The PC section of your brain is now in overdrive? To be fair, I wouldn't hire a man if I knew he was planning to take a year or so off in the middle of the project for any reason (paternity leave, sabbatical, etc.). I would need someone for the length of the project. That simple. However, the minute you mention "woman" and "pregnant" and "not hire her" in the same sentence, all hell usually breaks loose.

The same goes for a position which requires a lot of expensive training. Why would I train someone as a fighter pilot (which could cost a few million bucks depending on the complexity of the aircraft) only to have (nay, expect) that person to leave for a year, or more, once training is complete? You could replace "fighter pilot" with "firefighter" or "police officer". Same question applies.

On the subject of firefighters, too many times I have read about the double-fitness standard that is being used to have a more "gender-balanced" firefighting force. Excuse me? When I am stuck in a burning building and need a firefighter to carry me down several flights of stairs, I want to see a big, burly guy who can bench press a pickup instead of a 5 foot 4 inch woman who only had to pass a dumbed-downed, simplified fitness test. Sorry...I know it sounds sexist, but Jesus. I weigh over 200 lbs fer crissakes. And yes, there are women strong enough to pass the regular test, I am sure, but these would be few and far between.

It seems that common sense has been left by the wayside in the quest of "gender equality". So much so that any discussion of the qualification of a candidate for any position cannot use gender, when in point of fact it should be a consideration.

BlogRush and hardcore porn!

2007-10-22T08:06:00.001-04:00

A couple of months ago, I signed up for Blog Rush, a free service that markets itself as "The fastest and easiest way to instantly drive a flood of targeted readers to your blog...absolutely free". Sounds nifty, doesn't it? I heard about it through a post in September by Kate over at Electric Venom. Less than a month later she dumped them. She hadn't noticed any traffic increase at all.

I had forgotten all about BlogRush until this morning when I received an email from them stating that my BlogRush account had been rendered inactive because my blog "did not pass [their] Quality Review criteria". Not that I really cared one way or the other, but I am curious as to what criteria upon which I failed. Here is their complete list:

BlogRush Quality Guidelines:

- The blog contains unique, quality content that provides opinions, insights, and/or recommended resources that provide value to readers of the blog. Articles, videos, public domain works, press releases, and content written by others are okay to be used on the blog, but the ratio of unique content should far outweigh content from other sources.

- The blog should be updated on a regular basis (at least several times a month) and should not just go a few months between posts.

- The blog should already contain at least 10-12 quality posts. New blogs with very little content will not be accepted.

- The blog's primary contain must be in English. BlogRush is currently not available for non-English blogs.

- The blog should not contain an excessive amount of advertising and links and very little actual content. The focus of the blog should be quality content.

- The primary content of the blog should not be "scraped" content from other sources and/or script-generated pages for the sole purpose of search engine rank manipulation. The focus of the blog should be quality content.

- The blog's content (or advertising) should not contain any of the following types of content: hate, anti-racial, terrorism, drug-related, hacking, phishing, fraud, pornographic, nudity, warez, gambling, copyright infringement, obscene or disgusting material of any kind, or anything considered illegal.

Okay...so let's review...starting with guideline #2. I do publish several times a month, but I will admit not that often. So, perhaps it's this one?

I have no advertising links, nor scraped content from other sources.

I don't think my blog contains "...hate, anti-racial, terrorism, drug-related, hacking, phishing, fraud, pornographic, nudity, warez, gambling, copyright infringement, obscene or disgusting material of any kind, or anything considered illegal". But I have to tell you, THAT sounds like a fucking interesting blog. Wow. Could you imagine? All those vices in one blog would make for some wickedly funny reading, don't you think!? I mean, it may be revolting and disgusting, but WOW!

So I think my next post will be about a jewish hooker who's high on crack, naked, covered in shit, and playing a high stakes poker game against Al Qaeda suicide bombers, who raised funds for their explosives by selling pirated versions of Vista, enticing stupid people to give them their bank card PINs, selling fake Rolexes, and writing a shitload of bad checks. If she loses, she has to have sex with a group of small-dicked KKK members who will tattoo a swastika on her ass. If she wins, she gets to bomb Muslims back to the dark ages. Oh wait...that would be redundant.

Think that would be too offensive for BlogRush? I mean, I bet it would generate way more traffic than they do.

Too funny.

Post-surgery

2007-10-15T14:43:00.000-04:00

Well...

I had my laproscopic surgery on the 10th. In and out...no issues. The doctor also fixed up a slight umbilical hernia I had, which is great...but, of course, that is where I am experiencing the most discomfort (and bruising). I have never had surgery before (unless you count having my tonsils out when I was 5), so I have no idea if any of this is normal. They assure me it is. I assumed bruising...I didn't assume the odd shade of puce.

On another note, I am so glad I live in a country that pays for this. I cannot imagine how much this would have cost in the US.

Going through the surgery was relatively stress free, and I was in and out in less than 4 hours. It's the recovery combined with my ongoing house cleanup/renovations that is driving me nuts.

On Thursday, the guys came to install my gutter toppers and they did a great job. The n Friday, both the flooring and furnace guys showed up at the same time. My new bamboo floors were delivered and my new furnace and humidifier installed. Sweet. Except they forgot to restart the pilot on my water heater. So, here I am trying to squat down when I can barely move to re-light the pilot. It doesn't work ('natch). So I call the company from which I rent the water heater. They tell me that, yes, they can fix it, but the next appointment is not until 5:30-9:30PM on the FOLLOWING NIGHT! To me, renting a furnace means immediate repairs when needed. I told him that I would call them next week and get them to remove my water heater. Heh. That'll piss 'em off. Eventually, I got the thing started on my own (yay).

The next morning, the flooring guys return...they want to install the floors. Um...I specifically told them that they could NOT come that weekend...and there they were. 8:00 AM sharp. Nice.

Next steps: called 1-800-GOT-JUNK to come and clear some old crap out (sofa, old washer and dryer, etc.), get a quote on drywall repairs and painting, and then get the ducts clean. Sigh.

Angry Penguin

2007-10-09T15:30:00.001-04:00

Wow...two blog posts on the same day...look outside, quickly...pigs have GOT to be flying...

Swiped this pick from Terminally Incoherent. Too funny, given my blog name...gory though

Home Renovations and a potential Money Pit

2007-10-09T12:31:00.000-04:00

I own a house - I took ownership on Sept 14th. The house already had a new roof and all new windows, which is great, and a remodeled kitchen. It does, however, need new flooring throughout (even the aforementioned kitchen), a new interior paint job, and a new furnace (the current one being about 23 years old). I have budgeted about $23K for the work.

One of the prime attractions though was the size of the backyard and the huge gazebo with a natural gas fireplace and a hot tub! The backyard needed about $5K worth of cleanup since it was a proverbial jungle of weeds and shrubbery. Various animals have made their home there, include voles and a fairly ornery gopher I like to call Norman (gratz to anyone who gets THAT particular obscure reference). But the hot tub has a leak in the pipes that needs fixing...my hope is that it's a pipe at the pump and heater, else I am in trouble, since the rest of the pipes are inaccessible. Sigh. I don't think they can replace the hot tub as it would entail removing a gazebo wall. Double sigh. I can't imagine the cost involved. It would have to be in the 10s of thousands, for the new hot tub and the gazebo wall.

The gazebo has a trap door which, when opened, exposes the main pump/heater and associated pipes. THIS is where I hope to find the leak. First though is to clean up what else the trap door exposed. Namely, mice had made their home in the insulation surrounding the area, which means I have chewed up foam and some dead, dessicated mice. Fun, eh. I have to clean that up, reinsulate, and block access to more mice. THEN I can clean the tub (since it's filled with mice droppings amongst other dirt), then fill it. Hopefully, the leak is at the exposed pipes.

Now I know why I prefer buying a brand new house. It's actually less work :)

The end of PC Gaming?

2007-10-03T09:41:00.000-04:00

Since its release, 2kgames Bioshock has been dogged with a bit of controversy. The problem stems from the unannounced installation (stealth install) of a piece of DRM crap called SecuRom, which forces an online activation before you can play the game. Sounds fine, right? But wait, what if, in 5 years, you decide to play the game again and need to re-install your perfectly legitimate copy only to find that the online activation server is no longer operational? Well...you now have a $60 useless disc. As well, this software only allows 5 activations! If you reformat your harddrive, buy a new one, etc, and you use up the 5 activations...tough. You can't play the game.

Here's another kicker. If you are running Microsoft's Process Explorer (used to be called SysInternals Process Explorer) SecuRom won't allow you to START the game! Their response to a questions about this was:

'Process Explorer' has dumping capabilities as well as registry monitor / file monitor capabilities. This could be used to trace the behavior of SecuROM.

Therefore, we do not allow the game to start when this software is active.

We have no immediate plans to allow this software in the future.

Best regards,

SecuROM Support Team
SecuROM on the web: http://www.securom.com
or via e-mail: support@securom.com

Are you freaking kidding me?

I have never been a fan of any copy-protection scheme for software, even the "you must have disc 1 in the drive before you can play your game" kind. In fact, I recently purchased a copy of F.E.A.R. and once I installed it, I immediately downloaded a No-CD Crack, so I don't need to use the disc to play. Screw them. I paid for the game, and I don't want to have to keep putting the disc in the drive every time I start it up. I have done that for every game I have ever purchased (Morrowind, Oblivion, Prey, Doom, etc.) that required that kind of "copy-protection".

So...what will be the aftermath of 2kGames decision? I won't buy the game until they come out with a DRM-stripped version. Otherwise, bite me. Apparently, the same DRM is installed when you download the freaking DEMO! What a bunch of idiots.

If this continues, it will do 3 things...

1. I will stop playing PC games.
2. Since I won't be playing PC games, I won't need a Microsoft OS (XP or Vista) and will then have no reason NOT to switch to Linux.
3. Since I won't be playing PC games AND I won't be running a bloated Microsoft OS, I won't need to upgrade my PC as frequently.

So who is the winner here, other than me and the makers of Nintendo Wii and XBox 360 (which is, ironically, MS)?

Global Warming Stupidity

2007-09-27T10:51:00.000-04:00

Just read an interesting post on the Dilbert Blog on cognitive dissonance. In it, he mentions an interview Bill Maher did with Danish economist Bjorn Lomborg who has written a book called "Cool It". In typical bonehead fashion, Maher and his guests (Salman Rushdie, Rob Thomas (!?!?), and Jeanine Garofalo cut apart Lomborg's statements after Maher interviews him via satellite.

Maher starts off by baiting the author:

However…scientists, almost down the line, condemned your first book. And I noticed that on the blurbs on the back of your book, you don’t – you have two authors, an editor and an economics professor. If the scientists are not saying you’re cool, why should we believe anything you say about this?

Lomborg responds with:

Well, you should not believe what I say. You should believe what I’m actually quoting, namely, the U.N. Climate Panel. When we look at all these things that we’re talking about; for instance, climate change is real; it’s happening; and I’m trying to take us away from that very unproductive dichotomy of saying “It’s a hoax”/ “No, it’s a catastrophe.” It’s neither. It’s a problem.

And let me give you just one example. When we look, for instance, at temperatures rising, it means we’re going to see more heat deaths. That’s absolutely true, and everybody points that out. But, of course, with increasing temperatures, we’re also going to see fewer cold deaths, and we need to know both.

For instance, for Britain, it’s actually estimated that we’re going to see 2,000 more heat deaths in 2050. But 20,000 fewer cold deaths. It seems to me that we’re not going to make good judgments unless we know both things.

Take a look at the transcript, and you will see what I mean. Lomborg offers reasoned points, and Maher and company basically "pretend" to not understand...or they are really that stupid. You decide.

Essentially, Lomborg says "Yes, Global Warming is a problem, but it won't be the catastrophe everyone says. We need to do something about the problem, but at what cost?"

For example, if I could spend a 10th of the money being spent to combat global warming on anti-malaria programs I could save thousands of more lives. Lomborg says we should spend money on research and development of alternative fuel sources. Right now, the rich can afford the extremely expensive solar paneling and hybrid cars, but the poor can't. People in China and India can't. Those people (i.e. the large bulk of the world population) have to be given something they can use as an alternative before we can affect change, otherwise we are trying to empty a lake by using a thimble.

Global Warming is simply the Cause célèbre. The rich and famous will spout off about it, do documentaries on it, perform charity benefit concerts to "raise awareness" about it, and then the whole fad will fade away when the fickle stars move onto the next cause. I mean, Ethiopians are still starving, Africans are still dying of Aids, but those aren't "in" right now. Global Warming is "hot", to paraphrase Paris Hilton.

In any event, Bill Maher and friends need to be rudely awakened.

Snakes in a mouth

2007-09-20T12:45:00.001-04:00

Okay...quick...how many beers would you have to drink before you could put a rattlesnake head first into your mouth? 100...200?

Some guy in Oregon, admittedly a little tipsy on a 6-pack of American beer (which is, what, the equivalent of 2 Canadian beers in alcoholic content?), stuffed his pet rattlesnake into his mouth to amuse his friends....

There are two things wrong with the above sentence...one is putting a rattlesnake into your mouth...another is to have a pet rattlesnake to begin with!

He comments on his near death experience:

“It's actually kind of my own stupid fault,”

Er..."kind of"? Really? Just kind of?

I think this would have been better if this numbnuts ended up as a Darwin Award winner. With any luck, maybe he will be sterile.

Professional Sports are pointless

2007-09-20T08:21:00.000-04:00

The older I get, the less interested I am in any sort of professional sport. I was an avid baseball fan, but became disillusioned/disgusted with MLB when they screwed over the Montreal Expos in 1996 (when the season, and World Series, was canceled). Couple that with the bizarre league finances (the BENCH of the NY Yankees is more than the total payroll of many other teams), and why would anyone whose team has no hope of winning bother to watch?

The NBA is pathetic and dull. NFL football is filled with criminals..and I swear, if I see one more jiggy-dance in the end zone after a touchdown, I think I will throw something through my TV screen. Hockey is just tiring to watch in the regular season...wake me when the playoffs start.

Professional athletes are vastly overpaid, and I think society has to realize that idolizing these clowns is ridiculous. They play a game. That's it. A policeman, firefighter, or a teacher should make more than some semi-literate knob who gets millions simply because he can catch a football.

Men and women

2007-09-07T07:41:00.000-04:00

Venomous Kate, over at Electric Venom, recently wrote a post entitled "If You Could Read My Mind..." in which she asked if you really would want to be able to read someone's mind. I responded:

Are you kidding? Every married man is expected to already have this ability! The expectation that we do would explain SOOOO much. I would love to be able to read the minds of women. No more guessing, no more confusion. Peace on Earth!

To which she took exception:

I object. I assure you that I am QUITE vocal about what I want, how I want it done, when I want it, and how freaking happy my husband should be whilst doing whatever it is that I want.

Do I get credit for not expecting him to read my mind? Do I get points for actually using Mr. Lips and Mr. Tongue to tell him what I want?

Hell no. I get called a “nag”.

Someone once sent me a list of "rules" for women, from men. I though it apropos (NOTE: The following opinions are not necessarily those of management, and besides, they are meant to be humorous.)

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whining about you
leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find
the perfect present yet again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Check your oil! Please.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, baseball, the shotgun formation, golf, or monster trucks.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Here it is, ladies:
the secret to a happy marriage and getting your husband to do what
you want.
[drumroll…]

Ask him.

My experiences with the Great Unwashed

2007-09-04T07:10:00.000-04:00

I have for years avoided events like the "Ottawa Super Ex" simply because I can not stand being that close to the Great Unwashed that seem to crawl out of whatever substandard housing they were living under in order to infest dusty social gatherings like local fairs and exhibitions. This past Saturday I attended an event I attend every year with my children and their mother...the Gatineau Balloon Festival. Each year it gets busier and busier, which, believe me, is not a good thing....for there they were, the masses I so wanted to avoid.

They look dirty and unhealthy, they dress dirty...women walking through gravel and dirt fairgrounds wearing some cheap-ass high heel shoes they must have bought at a hooker's garage sale. Cigarettes dangling out of their mouths as they attend to their poor children. Teenaged boys, white, dressed like something out of a Walmart's version of a rapper; hat turned sideways, pants hanging down below their butt cracks, wearing fleece skater's hoodies even though it is boiling out, little faux moustache, and, of course, the ever present deathstick. Teenaged girls, stomachs bared, showing off their white trash tramp stamps, and, of course, the ever present deathstick. You might wonder if their parents are less than proud at the spawn they have produced. Then you see their parents, and wonder at the state of the human race.

IQs are dropping, as the Great Unwashed breed unchecked and unleash their progeny upon a slowly declining world population. Idiots who would not have seen sexual maturity even a hundred years ago because they would have ended up dead through their own misfortune are now protected by the nanny state, and kept alive, in this country and many others around the world at least, through universal healthcare. Morons who can not find any viable means of support now have their lives paid for by taxpayers through welfare and employment programs. You want to know why dealing with the government is so painful, you need not look any further than the masses of unwashed who populate many bureaucracies.

I am not referring to rednecks or hillbillies. Those people have become self-sufficient in a lot of ways. They are able to do a lot of things that even more educated people cannot: tear down and rebuild an engine, hunt, skin an animal. Come the apocalypse, they will survive. No, the Great Unwashed to which I am referring are the white trash living in motor homes, subsisting on McDonald's and the public dole. Who's worth can only be measured by how better the world would be WITHOUT them in it. The lazy and shiftless members of minority classes whose lives seem to revolve on how to avoid work, and how it is the MAN'S fault they have nothing.

These are the people I would love to avoid for the rest of my life.

China,China, China.

2007-08-20T10:51:00.000-04:00

My apologies for the lame Brady Bunch reference in this post's title (remember "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia"?), but lately China has been all over the news for even worse reasons than usual.

It seems the Communist bureaucrats, in what can only be a case of one-up-man-ship with the bureaucrats who pollute democracies, have decided to regulate reincarnation. That's right:

In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission.

Pundits stress that this is simply an attempt to control the naming of the next Dalai Lama.

This is the country that was awarded the summer Olympics? In 1980 the US, and other countries, boycotted the Moscow Olympics to protest the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan (how ironic is that?). Why are they not boycotting the games in China? Stupidity? Avarice? Cheap (slave) labour for US multinational corporations? Pathetic.

The US and Socialized Medicine

2007-08-13T10:02:00.000-04:00

Back in March of 2006 I posted an article called "Health Care in Canada is Sick and Dying" in which I opined that the Canadian system has many flaws but also contrasted it with the incredibly expensive US system. An obviously American reader posted a comment, anonymously, in which he or she states that:

There's a reason health care in the US costs a lot. Because it's better.

Well, as Michael Moore has shown...not so much. The anonymous comment goes on to say that stories of people dying in the US because they could not afford health care are myths. Again, not quite.

Sure, there is such a thing as free emergency care, but only to people below a certain tax bracket. People with insurance are habitually denied coverage for various reasons. Let's face it, Insurance companies really don't want to pay anything out...this is how they make a profit. So they will try everything to deny a claim. People have declared bankruptcy because of sudden medical bills. This is a fact, though what is disputed are the numbers. Some studies show that half of all bankruptcy claims have some health care related factor. Whatever the number, the personal economic effect of vast medical bills is deplorable.

Some people can afford the insurance. Great. Once you or your spouse gets an iron-clad, gold class, health insurance policy through his/her employer, try leaving that employer and get coverage elsewhere if at anytime you have made a claim. Good luck.

Fred, at www.FredOnEverything.net tackles this issue in a recent post. In hit he asks some difficult questions:

Now, what do we do with people who have obeyed all the fabled American rules, who have worked, perhaps at pathetic wages and no benefits, and never cheated, and been honest citizens, and then the bottling plant went to China and they’re old and have nothing? What?

We could be good social Darwinists and let them rot. They are not cutting edge people, not Verilog mechanics or optical engineers or hedge-fund managers. Who needs them? All right. If this is your position, say so. Look me in the eye and say, “Screw’em. I don’t care what happens to them and I’m not going to spend a red cent on them.” Say this, and I will understand you.

And later:

It’s different to Mary Sal Wooten in a decaying trailer somewhere on 301 South, with her retinas peeling like wallpaper from diabetic retinopathy, ankles swollen and darkening toward gangrene, and the hospital won’t take her because it isn’t an emergency and she can’t afford her medicine. Really, truly no-shit can’t afford it.

What do we do with people like her? People who just flat can’t handle the complexity of today’s world? It seems to me that anyone who wants to think about socialized medicine has to answer that question before starting.

Fred has more experience than many with the seedier underbellies of American society, and in the backwater towns that litter most of the US landscape. So his opinions have always seemed more valid to me than those of some upper-middle class columnist or blogger whose viewpoint goes little beyond their white picket fence, or through the windows of their Hummer.

His final thought:

What other solutions are available? Many say, “It’s a job for private charity.” This is another way of saying, “Screw’em, I ain’t paying a cent.” Yet others say cut taxes and the resulting economic boom will lift all boats. This is another way of saying, “Screw’em, I ain’t paying a cent.”

But let’s at least have the dignity to say what we mean. The truth is that large numbers of people cannot take care of themselves beyond showing up at work every day and spinning lug nuts on the assembly line. They aren’t going to invest wisely from youth because they aren’t smart enough. Employers aren’t going to provide retirements unless forced to. Hospitals won’t take them if they can avoid it. Do we say, “Screw’em, let’em croak”? Apparently. Then let’s say so plainly.

I believe in capitalism, but the US system is abhorrent.

'Nuff said.

Bridge Collapse

2007-08-03T11:15:00.000-04:00

The bridge collapse in Minneapolis is certainly tragic, but this is a more common occurrence lately. A bridge collapsed in Laval, Quebec recently as well, though I don't think there were any casualties, fortunately.

This is what happens when too many critical areas of a country's infrastructure is left solely to the state to maintain. Even in the sue-happy US, can you even take the city/state to court for something like this? You could if a private company was in charge of maintaining the bridge. Contracts should be extended to private companies and paid for with the same tax dollars that are already collected for roadwork (and bridge work). The private company would have the responsibility to maintain the safety and quality of the highways and bridges for which they have been commissioned. The proviso is that they can be sued if the road/bridge is kept in an unsafe condition...especially if a bridge collapses. For larger road/bridge works, allow them to charge a toll for their use.

There's a highway in Toronto (the 407) that is billed as the world's first all electronic open-access toll highway. If you use it, you can either be billed by using a transponder that shows when and how far you travelled on the 180 KM route, or, in the absence of a transponder, the highway uses a video system to track your license plate and you are billed by mail. The highway is privately run and is both well-maintained and efficient. I have no problem with it being a toll highway, and, in fact, would use this model to bring about more efficient highway systems everywhere else.

The kumbaya-singing, sandal-wearing hemp folk would scream about the evils of capitalism, but screw them. Government's can barely handle their own internal processes properly, let alone be in charge of something as large and complex as highway infrastructure.

Been a while

2007-07-25T11:12:00.000-04:00

Haven't posted since the 10th. Have a couple of drafts in progress, but at 2:30 AM on July 16th I found myself in the emergency ward of the nearby hospital with what I believed to be a gallstone attack. I returned home that same day at 6:00 AM. Not bad. Only 3.5 hours in the hospital. Pain had receded. Tests had been run. Good result for a government run healthcare system. In fact, at the initial triage stage, I was immediately moved to an observation room (i.e. I didn't have to suffer in the waiting room).

Tuesday, though I had some residual pain, went by without much of an issue. Then that evening, I had another attack. By 4:00 AM Wednesday morning the pain was such that I went back to the hospital. Once again I was immediately moved to the observation room, and within minutes found myself in a bed hooked to an IV (saline solution). I remained in the hospital until yesterday afternoon. Diagnosis: pancreatitis caused by a gallstone. I didn't eat or drink anything until Sunday afternoon (when I had some cranberry juice and some jello). I ate some "soft" food for the first time yesterday before leaving the hospital.

Seems I will have to make an appointment to have my gallbladder removed in 4-6 weeks.

Now the cost to me was about $60 for the television and personal telephone. I wonder how much a 7 day (8 counting the Monday stint) would have cost me in the States? A friend of mine spent 7 days in a US hospital when he moved down there to work and it cost him $30,000. Hmm...$60 vs $30,000...yeah, I'll pay the higher taxes.

Too funny

2007-07-10T08:22:00.000-04:00

I get a newsletter from ZDNet which discuss latest issues and news stories regardiing the computer industry. The most recent newsletter had an article entitled: Securing Firefox: How to avoid hacker attacks on Mozilla’s browser by Ryan Naraine whose ZDNet biography claims:

[He] is a technology news journalist specializing in Internet and computer security issues. His detailed coverage of hacker attacks and security warnings has appeared in a variety of publications, including @NY, internetnews.com, ClickZ.com, Yahoo News, Fox News and, most recently, Ziff Davis Media's eWEEK.

That's all well and good. Problem is, the article on Firefox shows screenshots from an old OUT-OF-DATE version of Firefox! Ha haha. Too funny. Makes you wonder how on the ball this guy is...and the editors of ZDNet.

Snort.

Stupid Pet people

2007-07-04T13:53:00.000-04:00

I see a pattern developing in my blog titles/topics...I think stupidity is my biggest pet peeve...ironic turn of a phrase, given this rant is about...PETS.

I don't understand "pet people". Animals aren't a member of your family. Given the right (or wrong, depending on your viewpoint) set of circumstances, they will use you as food. Cats I don't like, and consider them a waste of food and water. Dogs, on the other hand, do serve a purpose. However, the minute you treat one as a member of the family is also the minute you take your life into your hands...or the lives of your children. Now, if you own a Lhasa Apso, Pomeranian, or other such tiny dog, fine. But this family had a Rottweiler-German Shepherd cross. They also HAD a 17 month old daughter.

I don't want to add to their suffering, but this could have been prevented by one of two things: either don't own a dog bred for violence or don't let a 17 month old wander over to it. Rottweilers aren't known for being cuddly and fun loving. You can make a case that German Shepherds make good family pets, I suppose, but I don't like them, nor do I trust them.

In a similar vein, a man was recently charged with killing a cat. He hit it over the head twice with a tire iron. The cat had become increasingly violent over a period of several days culminating in an attack on animals the man had. He breeds horses and had various other animals (chickens I believe). Like any farmer/rancher faced with a dangerous animal, he killed it. End of story. Except the city folk got all involved and now he faces charges.

Mika Brzezinski

2007-07-03T08:33:00.000-04:00

She's my new hero. Google her if you want to see the video of her ripping up pages of copy she was to read about Paris Hilton being released from jail. The thing is viral. It's the number one video flowing around out there.

Apparently, the producers at MSNBC wanted her to lead with that story over some "fluff piece" about the war in Iraq and controversy in the White House. She refused. The two morons beside her, especially host Joe Scarborough, tout the tired line that Paris is news. They simply come across as pandering assholes who should be lynched by anyone who believes the news needs a heavy dose of integrity.

Too many people will defend coverage of this clownette because she "sells". Well, it doesn't matter. A beautiful quote from South Park's Mr. Slave after he defeats Paris in a "whore-off" in the episode "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset":

People, don't applaud me. I'm a dirty whore. [the crowd falls silent] Being spoiled and stupid and whorish is supposed to be a bad thing, remember? Parents, if you don't teach your children that people like Paris Hilton are supposed to be despised, where are they gonna learn it? You have to be the ones to make sure your daughters aren't looking up to the wrong people.

It's funny. I never found her attractive or even remotely interesting.

Protestors block highway

2007-06-29T07:23:00.000-04:00

Canada's busiest traffic corridor, between Montreal and Toronto, has been blocked by a small band of Mohawk protesters. Highways 401 and the VIA rail line in that corridor have effectively been shut down to "raise public awareness of native concerns such as poverty, health and land claims.". Here's a newsflash for native people across the country: We don't give a shit about your land claims. Period. Fuck off. When Europeans cames to this continent, you as a race had barely progressed beyond the fucking stone age. You weren't even as advanced as the Aztecs or Mayans. You hadn't even invented the fucking wheel yet! You were a race on an absolute decline.

Land isn't sacred. The Mighty Gitchi Manitou doesn't exist. The Spirit of the Bear won't guide you to enlightenment. Poverty in the reservations is YOUR fault, not the government's. Not the rest of Canada's. You have chosen to live in ignorance and stupidity for decades, and now it is biting you on the ass, and you want us to fix it. The mistake past governments made was in establishing reservations in the first place. If you had been forced to live in the read world all those decades ago, you would be better off today.

You lost. The world has long since passed your culture by. You are irrelevant. Assimilate into the rest of Canadian society, or simply fade away as a failed experiment in social engineering. Either way, problem solved.

July 21, 2007

2007-06-21T09:00:00.000-04:00

Mark that date down in your calendars. If I have to explain what it means, shame on you! No, it isn't the fact that it is my birthday. July 21st is my birthday, but that isn't why I think it is important...though I wish it were :)

No, July 21, 2007 is the release date of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Yay.

Here are my predictions:

1. Snape will be a hero...and...based on a comment by Rowling :

JKR: yeah, you will. Erm - it's - errr - yet again kind of the - in - you won't find out ... OK, in book three, you're absolutely right, you find out a lot about Harry's father. Now, the - the important thing about Harry's mother - the really, really significant thing - you're going to find out in two - in two parts. You'll find out a lot more about her in book five, or you'll find out something very significant about her in book five, and you'll find out something incredibly important about her in book seven. But I can't tell you what those things are, so I'm sorry, but they - yes, you will find out more about her, because they're - both of them are very important in what Harry ends up having to do.

("both", in her quote above, refers to Harry's father...but...)...I think Snape is Harry's father :) He has been charmed to look like James Potter. Snape knows, which is why he was particularly upset that Harry saw his memories in the Pensieve (in Order of the Phoenix)...because Lily was defending him (and being nice to him). He didn't want Harry to know, and thus, Voldemort to know.

2. The Dumbledore that died was actually the brother, the real Dumbledore is still out there. I base that on some subtle differences in the way Dumbledore interacts with Harry in the Half-Blood prince.

3. Hermione will die - killed by Voldemort

4. Neville will die fighting, and ultimately destroying, Bellatix Lestrange, who had driven his parents insane when she used the Cruciatus Curse on them.

5. Harry will live, but in destroying the Horcruxes, and the PART of Voldemort's soul that resides within him (Harry), he will lose his magical abilities.

There....if I am right, I will leave this post up...otherwise...boink...

Television sucks

2007-06-19T08:11:00.001-04:00

Not that this comes as a surprise to someone with at least half-a-brain, but as the post title states: Television sucks! I am in the process of participating in one of those viewing surveys...I think it's a one or two week exercise in which I record the times the TV is on, which programs, and who is watching. Something like the Neilsen's in the States but without the cool, geeky hardware.

Anyways, the first week started last Thursday. It went something like this: from 6:00AM to 6:30AM, while getting my kids up, they watched Giselle's Big Backyard on TVOntario - the station is sort of like PBS without all the telethons. Then, the TV was off until that evening, when my daughter put on a DVD of Friends, season 6. She watched that for about an hour before going to bed, then I watched about 15 minutes of South Park. Friday started about the same, but then in the evening, since my kids were at their mother's, was the DVD Kelly's Heroes. On Saturday and Sunday, the TV never even went on.

Let's face it, the Internet is a helluva lot more entertaining than the commercial-filled crap with which they fill up the airwaves. I will occasionally catch an episode of House and The Simpsons, but not much else.

I can't imagine EVER buying digital cable or satellite. I couldn't justify the cost for something so banal and bland.

Television, in it's current format, is finished. Truly. Viewership is steadily declining. The only hope it has is some sort of war or massive natural disaster...since, let's face it, the best ratings CNN ever got were the first Gulf War and 9/11.

What are they smoking?

2007-05-25T08:39:00.000-04:00

If there is any greater indication that the Canadian Radio-television and
Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) is irrelevant and needs to be dismantled than this latest stupidity, I don't know what else there is.

The CRTC is "...an independent agency responsible for regulating Canada's broadcasting and telecommunications systems". Among such necessary tasks as allocating television and radio frequencies to broadcasters, they also provide legislation which controls what Canadians can see or hear, including Canadian content legislation (i.e. broadcasters have to provide x amount of Canadian content per broadcast hour, with variances for prime time). They also regulate how many minutes of commercials that broadcasters can jam into an hour of programming. Currently, that number sits at 12.

However, as of Sept 1, 2007, that number will jump to 14 minutes of commercials during prime time (7pm to 11pm). A year later that number will jump to 15 minutes per hour throughout the day (not just prime time).

Why the increase?

Well, it's simple. Ratings are dropping for everything, and audiences are fragmenting. American Idol's finale ratings saw a shard decline from last year, with estimates as high as 23% (though FOX contends it was only a 19% decrease). Shows like "Lost", "Desperate Housewives", and "24" have seen their ratings continually decrease from one year to the next. Experts are touting competition from the Internet as the primary culprit...of course, it couldn't be that people are tired of the same crap over and over again.

So, over-the-air broadcasters in Canada requested that the CRTC allow them to add a subscriber fee to cable subscriptions. That was turned down. Instead, the CRTC decided to increase commercial time, and stated:

"The Commission considers it essential that [over-the-air] broadcasters have the flexibility to maximize advertising revenues to respond to the negative impact of audience fragmentation."

So, in the wisdom of an exceedingly irrelevant bureaucratic white elephant, in order to alleviate the loss of advertising revenue dollars in the face of audience fragmentation (re: loss of viewership), the CRTC has determined that the best solution is to INCREASE commercial time per hour!

I am no telecommunications expert, but how does that work exactly? People, who have been driven away from the idiot box in increasingly large droves, will now tune in because there are MORE commercials? The CRTC has also, apparently, never heard of the PVR...who in their right minds even WATCHES commercials anymore (ok, I will still watch commercials with sexy women in bikinis...but then again, I'm a pig).

"You don't have to hang on"

2007-05-23T20:26:00.000-04:00

"You don't have to hang on.", and with those words, a father said goodbye to his 3 year old son. A son who did hang on, long enough to watch his favorite hockey team, the Ottawa Senators, win in overtime to beat the Buffalo Sabres and clinch a berth in the Stanley Cup finals. Two hours after the game, in his parents' arms, he closed his eyes for the last time.

Three year old Elgin-Alexander Fraser had been fighting neuroblastoma, a rare cancer of the nervous system, since 9 months of age. Through treatment he fought it off, only to have it return in January in his stomach and vertebrae, and at the end his back was a mass of painful tumors. With fluid dripping into his lungs, his breathing became more and more difficult. He could barely keep his eyes open as the team he loved and so touched began to play in overtime so his parents had to whisper the play-by-play to him. Two hours after the game, they quietly sang his favorite song...incredibly it was the national anthem, "O Canada"...and his strength finally gave out.

This story will touch everyone, and it moved me beyond words. I have a son, only a year older than Elgin.

I would never want to say those words to him..."Go if you want to go now, bud. You don't have to hang on.". Those are words a father should never have to say to his youngest child. His baby. Never.

The religious out there can sigh softly and shake their heads and solemnly say that "God works in mysterious ways", but for me, that is final proof of one of two things: there is no God at all, or if there is one, it is something that does not deserve to be worshiped, praised, or adored. This should never happen.

It was this child's dying wish, almost literally, that his favorite team win the Stanley Cup. But somehow it seems rather perverse to use this child's painful suffering and ultimate death as motivation to win a stupid game.

Because this is hockey, if you are in the States, you will probably never hear this story. You will probably never see a picture of Elgin. He won't make your major newspapers or appear on CNN. Oprah won't do a show on him, and Ty Pennington and the Extreme Makeover folks won't show up at his grieving parents' door and build them a new house. But for those of us here, who have followed this story, seen this boy, and have hoped that some miracle would happen, this is more important than anything spewed forth from the idiot box. And certainly more important than any game.

I am a Senators fan. I have been waiting 15 years for this day. On May 28th, they start their run for the Stanley Cup against the Western Conference champions Anaheim Ducks. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I will be hoping in that perverse way that they win such a frivolous competition for Elgin's sake.

But I won't be watching. I will be playing with my son, or reading him a story, or watching him sleep.

What does this mean?

2007-05-11T13:03:00.000-04:00

I can't draw any conclusions from this, but maybe it is something that should be studied in depth...

Take a look at this website at Bored.com. This guy leaves a wallet on the ground and videotapes people who pick it up...and he also reports on if the wallet was returned or not. He also records the approximate (his guess) age of the finder, sex, and race.

Notice a pattern? Strange?

Blogger and Blogspot suck

2007-04-13T08:10:00.000-04:00

My most recent post before this one should have included another 2 paragraphs...unfortunately, I seem to have hit some sort of undocumented size limit, since I can't enter in more than what is already there. The last 2 paragraphs should have been:

People post on forums around the world, and so many are illiterate and ridiculous. Many are insulting, racist, hateful, or so incredibly evil in intent and content that it makes you cringe to read them. People hide behind the anonymity of the internet...which gives them the opportunity to state what they REALLY think. Frightening.

People read wikipedia and believe it is a viable and non-biased source of information, but there is little to no professional editing of the online reference source. Knowledge that is flawed. Equally frightening.

Stupidity redux - part 1

2007-04-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

More and more, as I surf the internet, I fear for the human race. The stupidity of people both shock and disgust me. Jokes become facts and form the basis of peoples' opinions...opinions without context and without intelligence. Opinions without actual KNOWLEDGE. Take this little gem that's been circulating since Christ was a corporal:

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S.: 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year: 120,000

(Calculation) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

Now think about this:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000 (Yes, that's 80 million..)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(Calculation) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188
Statistics courtesy of FBI

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!! Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers and politicians for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

There's no context, the "factual statistics" could be made up, but does anyone research it? Even if the numbers were marginally correct, this is meaningless. What defines an "accidental death"...malpractice suits? What about gun owners who kill someone on purpose (i.e. non-accidentally)? Why aren't those numbers mentioned? See, no context. Now, most smart people will see this as the joke it is...but people have actually used it to promote gun culture or the need for more malpractice legislation. Stupidity.

The venomous one

2007-03-02T07:47:00.000-05:00

Venomous Kate, over at Electric Venom, recently slammed someone for trying to guilt her into adding his/her blog into her blogroll.

I mean what kind of person attempts to so blatantly curry favour by describing Kate as:

“the perfect woman: smart, sexy and perfectly capable of kicking your ass.”

I mean, she seems "smart", and her photo looks sexy (except for what appears to be a deathstick 'twixt her fingers) with that over-the-shoulder glance, but how can one assume she is capable of kicking someone's ass?? Plus she blitches way, way, WAY too often. I mean the 'tude on her! C'mon. She's frightening.

I mean this guy/gal even used a Trackback to entice her. I mean, really. Some people are freaking pathetic.

Stupid, stupid people

2007-03-02T07:24:00.000-05:00

In honour of a new game show hosted by Jeff Foxworthy called Are you smarter than a 5th grader, a local radio station (93.9 Bob FM) had a radio contest which they called Are you smarter than a 3rd grader. The idea was they would ask you three 3rd grade-like questions. You had to get all 3 correct to win 4 seats to an Ottawa Senators game.

Now, as far as I can tell, the people who got through were all idiots...here are a few samples of some of the questions...and answers...

"If a boy can be a HERO, a girl can be a...?"
Answer: Princess?

"Complete this saying: All clouds have a..."
Answer: water? (two callers answered the same thing!)

"Why are Mercury and Venus hotter than the Earth?"
Answer: ...well...the guy had no clue...said "I don't know" a few times, then finally threw out an exasperated "'cause they're closer to the sun, derrrp??" No shit, dumbass. He was the one who got the HERO/HEROINE question wrong (I added the "derrrp" for emphasis).

"Which ocean is the largest?"
Answer: "Atlantic?"

Sigh. And you just know that some, if not all, of these adults have kids (or are planning to). There were more, but I think my brain just forced out the memory of them in some sort of self-preservation effort. This contest was attempted 4 times (with multiple callers each time) on the first day, and actually went into a SECOND day, before some woman won.

I honestly believe that radio station telephone systems have some sort of IQ tester so smart people get a busy signal when they try to call in. It's either that or a majority of adults are lip-diddling dipshits and numbnuts who have no business breathing in precious air and getting in front of me on the highway let alone breeding.

If these people don't know the answer to some pretty fucking simple questions, how the FUCK are they going to help their kids with school work??

Crap new blogger2

2007-02-01T11:24:00.000-05:00

Well, as is usual, a company has "upgraded" their product and, instead of making things better, have actually fucked everything up. It appears my RSS feed no longer works, and I have no clue how to fix it. The blogger "help" is anything but, so this may be my last post until they fix it.

Morons.

Absent

2007-01-17T11:30:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted since late November...and there are reasons...whether these are valid to my huge cadre of 3 or 4 regular readers, I am not sure....

My first wife (my oldest son's mother) passed away in her apartment on Dec 2nd. With her family being quite dysfunctional, disorganized, and altogether incapable of organizing a bathroom break let alone a funeral, I took it upon myself to do it for them (organize a funeral that is, they can figure out to to go to the bathroom on their own dammit!). What struck me was what a freaking scam funeral homes are: for the basics it cost approximately $8000 (Canadian..so about a $1.50 American). On top of that, there are additional expenses for the "casket splash" (flowers that rest on top of the casket - $250), catering for the reception ($650), and a two day obituary notice in the local news rag ($206 - yup...$103 a day...nice, eh?).

I was hoping, and still am, that her final pay and such from work will cover the expense (which it will, it will just take some time to get the paperwork settled). Now, when she was alive she drove me nuts, and she still is after her death. See, she didn't have a will. She has two other kids, both from different fathers. One of the fathers she married and from whom she subsequently separated...leaving him on the hook for things...but at least he has been good to work with through all of it.

So, with the funeral and Christmas, and the new expansion for World of Warcraft, is it any wonder I have been unable to blog lately!!?

Whites only need apply?

2006-11-28T08:56:00.000-05:00

Lashawn Barber has a wonderful article on the odiousness that is Affirmative Action. The liberal hand-wringers have foisted this mess on society without a thought for the total hypocrisy of it all.

Anytime you make allowances for another person, you do so because of a perceived deficiency in that person. Affirmative Action is simply about making allowances for deficiencies in people based on their skin colour. Oh, lip service is paid to the "poor environment" in which these people have been supposedly been forced to live, but it really comes down to the lowest common denominator: colour. As proof, when have you ever heard/seen an Affirmative Action program for poor, white trailer trash? Ms. Barber asks:

If “whites only” scholarships, policies, and programs are obviously wrong, why are “blacks only” scholarships, policies, and programs not wrong? What’s difference between the races justifies lowering standards for one and discriminating against the other?

As a Canadian...an outsider looking into American society with relative objectivity, I find Fred of Fred On Everything to have a clearer concept of what ails the US than any other writer.

In his article entitled Cultural Psychiatry Fred writes:

Further, the ghetto rules everywhere, seeps in, or threatens. Americans are not social climbers, but social descenders, rappelling deliberately into the grubby depths. On the radio one hears regularly such lyrical confections as “Muthahfucka, muthafucka, she a ho, shit.” Ah, but the chief rule of discourse today is that one must never offend the offensive. You must never suggest that they straighten up and mind their manners, mouth, grammar, and work ethic.

That's it right there. In a nutshell. Michael Richards tees off on some black hecklers and uses racial epitaphs and has to apologise profusely for it. Dr. Kamau Kambon, an ex-professor of African Studies at North Carolina State University (wow, a degree in that will certainly get you a wonderful job in the ditch digging or food services industries), called for the extermination of white people! But for the most part the press made "allowances" for the attitude of Kambon, and one can only assume it's because he is black.

But Affirmative Action has also impacted the earliest grades of school, not just the workforce and universities. Schools in the States have been dumbed down, part of the "No one Left Behind" program. In another article, Eighth Grade in Mexico, Fred writes about his girlfriend's daughter in Mexico, and how advanced their 8th grade program is there (in a land upon which regular Americans look down their noses). He contrasts that with the poor state of American schools:

The girls came home with misspelled handouts from affirmative-action science teachers, and they learned about Harriet Tubman and oppression. Of the sciences they learned very little. I knew bright kids who had trouble with the multiplication tables. Yes, there are schools and schools, some better than others, and advanced-placement and such. I do not suggest that Mexico has a great school system, because it doesn’t. Yet Natalia, in her particular school, is better off than she would be in Washington, heaven knows, or the Virginia suburbs. Ain’t that something?

Settings standards to the lowest common denominator and making allowances for a perceived deficiency in others is quite possibly the worst form of racism.

Minimum Wage for Inmates?

2006-11-27T10:45:00.000-05:00

The Correctional Investigator of Canada, Howard Sapers, has tabled a report calling for a wage increase for inmates of Canadian prisons to minimum wage (from $6.70 in New Brunswick to a high of $8.50 in Nunavut) from the current $6.90 a day. This is the same ex-Liberal MLA who back in October stated that:

"The experience of Canadian aboriginal peoples and the justice system has been described as Canada's national disgrace. Alarmingly, this huge over-representation has grown in recent years."

In his report, he mentions that the number of aboriginals in prison climbed 22% between 1996 and 2004, while the general population dropped 12%. Aboriginals now account for 18.5% of federal inmates, but only 2.7% of the Canadian population. He called on the federal government to adopt more culturally sensitive programs and practices, including increasing the number serving time in minimum security prisons instead of maximum- or medium-security facilities.

In typical knee-jerk liberal fashion he totally overlooks the severity of the crimes committed that seemed to have warranted a medium to maximum facility. Beverley Jacobs, the president of the Native Women's Association of Canada, blamed aboriginal over-representation on poverty, poor education, unemployment, dismal living conditions, alcoholism and violence in aboriginal communities. Okay, but that still doesn't mean a lighter sentence for committing a crime.

Now Sapers wants to increase the inmates' pay because many "inmates have to pay out of their own pocket for additional treats [beyond the three meals a day and free medical and education] such as cigarettes, booze, and chocolate"! Oh, poor babies. Next they will be expected to stay in a small cell-like room with bars on the windows.

The Prisoners' Rights Committee (PRC) supported his statements ('natch). This is the organization that spewed out of the early 1970s Ligues des droits et libertés in Quebec and got inmates the right to vote. Isn't that special.

Frankly, prisoners should do extremely hard time, with hard labour and little, to no, "leisure" time. Less emphasis should be placed on rehabilitation and preparing them for release back into society, and more scaring the shit out of them. They should be so frightened of prison life, so beaten down, that they would be too afraid to commit another crime.

If a major portion of the prison population come from backgrounds of abject poverty, then what, under the current system, is the real deterrent? Why not commit a crime that nets you better food and accommodations than you currently enjoy? Hell, if they raise inmates' salaries to minimum wage even better. This would mean a substantial increase in a living standard, and at a much quicker rate than they would normally experience in the outside world.

This is the kind of liberal, left-leaning sensibilities that swiftly gets a country into fiscal problems.

Internet Explorer 7 - they're kidding, right? IE7 Sucks!

2006-11-22T14:30:00.000-05:00

Just downloaded and installed Microsoft's IE 7.0. In typical MS fashion, they decided that they had to rearrange things to "make it better", which of course it doesn't (take a look at the abortion that is Outlook 2003 if you want to see proof of that).

This is what IE used to look like:

Note the Menu bar nicely situated at the top of the screen, like 99.9% of all Windows -based applications. I could also, if I wanted to, unlock the Toolbars and move them around (Address Bar on top, etc.).

Recently, MS released IE 7.0 (ostensibly to compete with Firefox) and this is how it looks:

Hmmm. Where's the Menu Bar? Dunno. Oh, it's hidden (why? Again, I dunno). Notice that the Back and Forward buttons are at the top left...but all the other icons (like Home, Print, Refresh) are at the bottom right. How efficient is that? Rhetorical question: it isn't efficient at all. And, NO, I can't Unlock Toolbars and move everything around. What kind of qualification do they need to be programmers at MS? Just from a usability standpoint, they have screwed up. I uninstalled it almost immediately and thus cannot discuss performance, but from a GUI (Graphical User Interface) or Human Element perspective, they have royally screwed up.

Here is what Firefox 2.0 looks like (well, MY version, since it is totally customizable):

Clean, concise, buttons were I want 'em. How people can still use crap like IE, I have no idea.

IE 7 sucks.

Afghanistan

2006-11-02T08:38:00.000-05:00

Big article in the Sun this week on the war in Afghanistan. Reporters in several Canadian cities,including Ottawa, alternately wore pro- and anti-war-in-Afghanistan signs to gauge public reaction. Most of the "experiments" were done in the downtown cores of these cities, which in itself is usually NOT indicative of the general population. Picture left-wing types in their hemp decorated communal housing projects, and you will get the idea. From that, you should be able to determine the reactions these experiments received.

However, the issue is many Canadians have no clue what Afghanistan is all about. These people would have protested Canadian action in Rwanda had we the foresight to prevent the near genocide that occurred there. Women in Afghanistan were treated more like chattel then human beings...they were essentially "owned" by men. Of course, the Canadian women (and men too, but women should have a certain concern for the plight of these victims, you would think) who are against our continued presence in the region think little beyond what fair trade coffee shop they will patronize that afternoon.

Frankly, I have gotten to the point that I believe democracy is a bust and a la Starship Troopers (the book, by Robert A. Heinlein, not the movie) only people who have sacrificed for their country can hold political office and/or vote. Quoting Wikipedia:

The overall theme of the book is that social responsibility requires individual sacrifice. Heinlein's Terran Federation is a limited democracy with aspects of a meritocracy based on willingness to sacrifice in the common interest. Suffrage belongs only to those willing to serve their society by two years of volunteer Federal Service (there is no draft before the Bug War) -- "the franchise is today limited to discharged veterans," (ch. XII), instead of anyone ("...who is 18 years old and has a body temperature near 37 °C.". There is an explicitly made contrast to the democracies of the 20th century, which according to the novel were flawed (and collapsed) because "people had been led to believe that they could simply vote for whatever they wanted . . . and get it, without toil, without sweat, without tears." Indeed, Dubois, one of Rico's teachers, criticizes as unrealistic the famous passage of the U.S. Declaration of Independence about "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

There is a brilliant quote from the main character in the book, Rico:

Correct morals arise from knowing what man is—not what do-gooders and well-meaning old Aunt Nellies would like him to be.

That, in a nutshell, describes the anti-war protesters. Do-gooders who have no clue about the realities of the world...whether that is the world at large, or their own personal bubble of stupidity that encases them.

Vista be damned...Linux is looking better 'n better

2006-10-16T10:10:00.000-04:00

While I am a proponent of the capitalist system insofar as I believe if I produce/develop/create something I should be able to charge what I want, I also think Microsoft has lost its marbles. Vista looks to be the most bloated OS yet, with more bells and whistles than an average user will EVER need, all at a price no one should pay.

Most users use a PC to surf the net, do some word processing, and perhaps organize their digital photos. Buying Vista is like buying a Hummer to drive the kids a block to school...oh wait...

While I have never directly used Linux, I have played with it. Once installed, the aforementioned average user will see little to no difference in their computing experience (except a lack of trojans, viruses, and worms (oh my...sorry...Wizard of Oz reference). So why would an average user buy Vista? I know I probably won't.

Decline of the Holy American empire

2006-09-25T12:17:00.000-04:00

Brilliant post at FredOnEverything..

In it, he opines:

Further, the ghetto rules everywhere, seeps in, or threatens. Americans are not social climbers, but social descenders, rappelling deliberately into the grubby depths. On the radio one hears regularly such lyrical confections as “Muthahfucka, muthafucka, she a ho, shit.” Ah, but the chief rule of discourse today is that one must never offend the offensive. You must never suggest that they straighten up and mind their manners, mouth, grammar, and work ethic.

Everytime I turn on the TV, I see this "culture" glorified and pushed and spotlighted in the news and on television shows. Talking heads and politicos tell us we have to be "tolerant"...when what they mean is the civilized among us have to be tolerant of those of us who aren't civilized. We have to lower our expectations of humanity so we aren't shocked and insulted by have grunting stupidity thrust into our faces.

The end of the US is coming folks, and it won't be pretty.

American Luftwaffe

2006-09-05T08:12:00.000-04:00

Once again, Canadians have been killed/injured by some retarded American pilots.

In his book Battle: The Story of the Bulge John Toland wrote:

At 3:26 P.M. [23.December.1944] six B-26s of the 322nd Bombardment Group approached a town nestled in hilly forested country. The flight leader...[e]ven on this clear day...hadn't been able to locate his primary target, Zulpich, Germany, a railhead for Brandenberger's Seventh Army, but he concluded he was over Lammersum, only six miles northeast of the target. As his plane swept over the center of town, thirteen 250-pound General Purpose bombs dropped from the bomb bay. The other five planes of the flight dumped their loads.
...
Twelve thousand feet below, dazed American soldiers of the 30th Division and hysterical civilians were crawling from the wreckage of Malmédy, Belgium--39 miles away from Lammersum.
...
Moments later General Hobbs, commander of the 30th Division, was angrily talking by phone to an air force general. Hobbs was bitter. It wasn't the first time he'd been bombed by the 9th Air Force. His men had already dubbed it "the American Luftwaffe".

The air force general was dismayed. "It can't happen again," he promised.

While the incident mentioned above involved bombers, the concept is the same: American pilots are idiots. This has happened so often that maybe the US should rethink the whole "flying" thing. Obviously they can't do it worth shit.

Here's a hint for other would-be American military pilots: the guys without the rags on their heads...those are on your side...for now. Idiots.

Druss

2006-08-22T15:12:00.000-04:00

Never violate a woman, nor harm a child. Do not lie, cheat or steal.
These things are for lesser men.
Protect the weak against the evil strong.
And never allow thoughts of gain to lead you into the pursuit of evil.
Never back away from an enemy. Either fight or surrender.
It is not enough to say I will not be evil. Evil must be fought wherever it is found."

---The "Iron Code" of Druss

These are the words as written by my favorite author: David Gemmell. On July 28, 2006 he died of coronary artery disease.

For those who have never read anything by Mr. Gemmell, I suggest you start with Legend.

And re-read the code above, and ask yourself where Druss would find himself in the war between Hezbollah and Israel. I wonder.

Exodus

2006-07-20T11:18:00.000-04:00

50,000 Canadians are in Lebanon and DEMANDING to be extricated from the situation in which they VOLUNTARILY put themselves and their children. I guarantee that most of the adults, if not all, are life long Liberal voters. You know, the Liberals, who singlehandedly decimated the Canadian Military to the point that we don't even have Navy ships capable of evacuating a hundred people let alone 50,000.

When a ship finally arrived in Beirut, the idiots there realized that only a couple of thousand could be evacuated at the same time. They were "upset" at the "treatment".

Caroline Norah, from Montreal, said Canada provided the worst service to its nationals of any country. The vessel was sweltering, with many people on board vomiting. People were forced to sleep on the floor and no water was provided. There didn't appear to be any medical personnel on board. Several people compared their treatment to that of animals.

A woman wheeling her baby away from the boat in a stroller cried: "C'est l'enfer (It was Hell)." (from the article: First boatload of Canadian evacuees from Lebanon arrives in Cyprus

Now, I don't want to sound callous, but the "Living Hell" was probably better than sitting in a basement with artillary shells dropping all around you. I mean, I have no firsthand experience, but I would think that the threat of being blown up is a little worse than experiencing discomfort while being rescued at TAXPAYERS' EXPENSE, I might add.

I hope this government charges these morons for the cost of the evacuation.

Irony

2006-06-01T12:01:00.000-04:00

There's a lot of irony going around these days....

Indonesia, a country filled with Muslims who have burned the American flag, protested, and threw rocks and other sundry items at anything American over the past few years is now begging, hands out, for American aid (well, world aid, I suppose). If Bush had any balls, he would tell them to ask for money from Saudi Arabia and the rest of the Muslim world.

Stephen Harper wins a minority gov't and the left-leaning Parliamentary press gets their little knives ready...only to be told by Harper that he would ignore them completely. The pundits starting whining and complaining at the same time as support for Harper across Canada jumps through the roof.

Heh. Life, you gotta love it.

Health Care in Canada is sick and dying

2006-03-31T14:13:00.000-05:00

If you are an American who, for some reason, thinks that government-funded health care is the way to go, just look at Canada. As a Canadian, I, on one hand, appreciate the "free" access to health care. The US model is ridiculously expensive. On the other hand, I hate the fact that I have to wait in line all the time for even the most basic health care.

I pay more taxes than most, ergo, I should get better health care. That's simple. I should also be able to pay for even better health care out of my pocket (either through direct billing or through insurance). That's simple too.

Now, in typically American fashion, getting health care in the US is over-priced and ultimately about as stressful as whatever ailment required the health care to begin with! There has to be a happy medium. In an affluent society, everyone should be able to get affordable health care. However, people who can afford it should be able to get more timely health care. This is part of the privilege of being successful...oh, wait. Being successful is a bad thing in Canada. I forgot.

Perhaps a solution would be to have people OPT OUT of public health care altogether or perhaps some sort of percentage plan. That is, the government would only cover 50% of your health care costs. By opting into this, you would get a reduced tax rate. Good idea? I think so.

You're kidding, right?

2006-03-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

This is a blog post aboout the NHL. Hockey. So, if you aren't interested, I'm giving you fair warning.

The Toronto Maple Leafs (sic) have lost two in a row to the Montreal Canadians as both are fighting for a playoff spot. The combined score was 11-3. All year long I have been saying that the Leafs have neither the talent nor the depth to even make the playoffs let alone do anything significant towards winning a Cup.

During the off season, the Leafs made a few, what were called, "high profile" free agent signings. Guys like Jason Allison (who hadn't played in years due to injuries), Jeff O'Neil (who Carolina couldn't wait to dump), and Eric Lindros (who was and still is damaged goods). The Toronto-centric media was all over these signings. But the worst spate of journalistic bias came with the signing of Mariusz Czerkawski. In September 2005, Lance Hornby of the Toronto Sun wrote:

Reputedly, Mariusz Czerkawski can do back flips after he scores.

If the new Maple Leafs right winger can hit in the 30 to 40-goal range this season, perhaps as Mats Sundin's linemate, it will be Toronto's hockey office doing the cartwheels. Czerkawski officially came aboard yesterday, signing a one-year deal believed to be worth around $500,000 US.

Um. Okay. Based on what is this guy going to score 30-40 goals? Here are his career stats:

Year Team GP G A Pts +/-
2005-06 BOS 8 1 1 2 -4
2005-06 TOR 19 4 1 5 -2
2003-04 NYI 81 25 24 49 +8
2002-03 MTL 43 5 9 14 -7
2001-02 NYI 82 22 29 51 -8
2000-01 NYI 82 30 32 62 -25
1999-00 NYI 79 35 35 70 -16
1998-99 NYI 78 21 17 38 -10
1997-98 NYI 68 12 13 25 +11
1996-97 EDM 76 26 21 47 0
1995-96 EDM 37 12 17 29 +7
1995-96 BOS 33 5 6 11 -11
1994-95 BOS 47 12 14 26 +4

His best year was 2000-01 in which he scored 35 goals! Where does Hornby think this guy is going to get 30-40. As a side note, if you look at the stats, he only had 5 pts and only played in 19 games. Good acquisition.

The worst part of all of this are the idiot fans of the Leafs. You can be a fan, like my sister-in-law, and still be realistic. She cheers for them, but has absolutely no hope. She KNOWS this team is filled with talentless stiffs.

But guys like this, who commented on a recent Toronto Star forum:

...Also why didn't the leafs try to pull off a trade for a goalie before the deadline. Considering the number of games remaining I can't fathom why these moves were not made and the blame has to be put squarely on the shoulders of Ferguson Jr. and Quinn. I can't understand how they play so well against Carolina and stink the joint out at the Bell Centre.
Milt Kenigsberg, North York

Poor Milt. He totally has no clue. They didn't pull off a trade for a goalie because they COULDN'T. What could they have given up for a goalie? What team would want ANY of the stiffs they had to offer? Also, they had NO ROOM under the salary cap to make such a deal if it didn't involve at least one of their overpaid players.

This kind of attitude from both the fans and the Toronto-centric media is what turns off the rest of us. I hate the Leafs, not because of the team per se, but because of the idiots on the fringes. I can't wait for the playoffs to start sans Leafs.

Cartoon Jihad redux and South Park and AA...

2006-02-22T08:44:00.000-05:00

This is so ironic. Catholics are upset at an episode of South Park. I wonder if they will burn buildings and riot and kill people and stuff....?

Now, the episode in question has a statue of the Virgin Mary bleeding from what appears to be her ass. Eventually, the Pope appears (yup, SP is so topical, it's the latest Pope) and announces that the statue is mensturating and that there's no miracle for a women to be doing that... Now, this wasn't the main story. Stan's dad gets arrested for drunk driving and while attending an AA meeting is told he has a "disease". He is a hypochondriac, and begins to act like he's dying. Stan has had enough and confronts the AA members:

Stan: Uh look, my dad was here yesterday and you all kinda messed him up by telling him he had a disease.
AA Member: Alcoholism is a disease.
Stan: No it, it's not... and you can't just go around saying stuff like that to people like my dad. He's kinda like a hypochondriac.

Stan goes on to reiterate that alcoholism isn't a disease...that "Cancer is a disease. My Dad just has to drink less."

Now, that's funny.

The 12 Steps program of AA is..um...odd:

1. We admitted we were powerless over
alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater
than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our
lives over to the care of God as we understood
Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to
another human being the exact nature of our
wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove
all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed,
and became willing to make amends to them
all.
9. Made direct amends to such people
wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory
and when we were wrong promptly admitted
it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation
to improve our conscious contact with God, as
we understood Him, praying only for knowledge
of His will for us and the power to carry
that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the
result of these steps, we tried to carry this
message to alcoholics, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs.

So, essentially, if you are an alcoholic atheist, you're shit out of luck.

Olympic games

2006-02-13T11:12:00.000-05:00

Okay...on Saturday Feb 11th, 2006, at about 9:00 am EST, I was already sick of the Olympics. Hey...that's a new record...and a personal best!

Never liked the Olympics (especially the European bias...they drop Baseball but bring in some sport only played by a handful of European countries and Somalia...asswipes), and hate the coverage even more. Though at least watching it on the CBC as opposed to whichever US media outlet is covering it this year, you get to see that there are other countries in the Olympics.

But CBC's coverage is annoying...here's my text-based imitation of CBC Olympic coverage...

"Wow...Jennifer Heil has won a Gold Medal for Canada in the women's moguls. Let's watch the replay and analyse ever nuance of her performance!"

....several minutes later.....

"Oh, Canada was favoured in this speed skating event, but Cyndi Klassen won a bronze. Good for her...she did a personal best....! Hey, let's watch Jennifer Heil's Gold medal performance!"

...several minutes later...

"Canadians came in [insert some number way after 6th place] in the [insert some inane "event" like the biathalon]. Wow, that was [some no-name]'s personal best! Let's see Jennifer Heil's Gold medal performance once again!"

ahhhhhhhh.

Islam has got to go...

2006-02-06T08:34:00.000-05:00

If there is any evidence that Islam is too archaic for the 21st Century, one need not look any further than the absurd reactions to a few stupid caricatures that were originally published in a Danish newspaper. Here there are:

Now, if someone posted images, similar in nature, with Christ as the central figure, there MIGHT be protests, but certainly not this bullshit that is going on.

Regardless of the people who excuse Islam and claim it is a religion of peace, Islam in its current form is the most immediate threat to world stability since communistic dictatorships (and George Bush). It either has to go through some fundamental shift in ideology (unlikely) or it has to be decimated to the point of near extinction.

As a Canadian, we are told, time after time, to be tolerant. Fuck that. I don't like this religion (I really don't like ANY religion, but this one is absurd...um...Adam and Eve were 600 feet tall? Really? Uhuh. Islam makes Scientology sound plausible). I don't want my children exposed to its 15th Century beliefs. Go away.

Let's face it, if you have a pack of rabid dogs, you don't coddle them and make excuses, you exterminate them. Islam needs to be dismantled. Period.

American Idol and a form of child abuse

2006-02-03T15:06:00.000-05:00

Would it be considered a form of child abuse to knowingly expose your child to ridicule and humiliation?

I caught, totally by accident I assure you, the tail end of this week's American Idol auditions. They were in Austin, Texas (warning flags should have been ringing there!).

One of the last people to audition was this...um...overweight girl (though, given the American propensity for obesity, she might actually be considered thin) about 17 who was wearing a pair of godawfully bright pink pants so tight I'm not sure she could breathe. As she was going into the audition room, she said something to the effect that Simon would "love" her.

Problem was, she couldn't sing. Not a note. Terrible. I could do better and I suck. She left the room almost in tears saying that the judges had "...made a mistake, a terrible mistake...". Um...no...they didn't, sweetheart.

When she left the room she tried to slam the door (I think it hit her butt or thighs) and she started to cry. Now...her MOTHER was there to console her.

Unless her mother and everyone of legal guardian-status age in her life is tone deaf and/or so freakin' inbred that they are incapable of identifying "suckitude" when they hear it (and, in the case of her clothing, SEE it), then they let her go audition on an international stage knowing she would be humiliated. That's some mighty good parenting there, isn't it?

I her think parents should be charged, fined, or both.

Conservatives WIN!

2006-01-26T09:20:00.000-05:00

Now it starts...

The Conservatives win 124 seats to form a minority government. The wanks are coming out of the woodwork now...

Toronto is all in a tizzy because the whole metro region voted Liberal, and they are worried that the federal government, under the Tories, will "forget them". I hope so! Fuck 'em. Atlantic Canada too...you want to vote for the most corrupt party in Canadian political history, you deserve to get fuck all.

"Oh, but the Conservatives are scary" For crissakes...this is Canada, not the US. Shit won't be raining down like a sermon from the mount...get real. Harper isn't Bush, and nor are the Conservatives the inner circle of the White House (Rumsfeld, et al).

If the Liberals could do all those things and still have someone's vote...what could the Liberals do to lose those votes? I mean, really...what?

Exciting announcement - Lost Twilight Zone episode

2006-01-16T13:24:00.000-05:00

Scene opens: Corel Centre - press room.

Officious Announcer Type Voice: "Please welcome Scotiabank chief executive officer Rick Waugh who has an important announcement to make!"

...Excited clapping from the media types and executives from the NHL's Ottawa Senators, as well as assorted Marketing people. Cameras clicking. Eager reporters thrusting microphones forward to catch every syllable of this important announcement...

Rick Waugh:

"Today, Scotiabank enters into a bold, new, and exciting partnership with the Ottawa Senators! Scotiabank has had a presence in the Ottawa area for more than a century and we're very committed to this community. Scotiabank Place will continue to be the home of an exceptional hockey club, while also providing a full range of exciting entertainment options for people who live in and visit this vibrant
region."

...Pause. Blank stares from the media types. Nervous grins from the Senators' Executives. Wild clapping and vacuous grins from the Marketing people. Roy Mlakar, Senators president and chief executive officer approaches the microphone...

Roy Mlakar:

"As we opened the Palladium, which soon became the Corel Centre, 10 years ago this month, we gave the National Capital Region one of the finest world-class venues in North America, setting a standard for sport and entertainment facilities around the world. As the first financial institution to lend its name to a major venue in Canada, Scotiabank continues to show itself as a leader in business and a leader in community outreach programs."

...Even blanker media stares. Someone coughs. Clapping from the Marketing people. Other Senators executives are staring at their feet and shuffling nervously...

Finally, one the media types finds his voice:

"Er. Scotiabank Place? Scotiabank Place? That's the best you could come up with?"

...Barb Mason, Scotiabank executive vice-president, marketing rushes to the podium...

Barb Mason:

"Today's announcement is part of our ongoing partnership with the Ottawa Senators that extends beyond the ice. In the coming weeks, we will be launching the Scotiabank Senators Savings Club for youth at our Scotiabank branches, encouraging youth under the age of 19 to learn the benefits of managing money. We are partners with the Scotiabank Read to Succeed primary-school literacy program and Roger's House -- a pediatric palliative-care facility that is set to open early in 2006. We supported the Walk, Roll & Run for Roger event in September that saw Team Scotiabank raise $25,000 for the cause. Scotiabank is also a key sponsor of the Ernst and Young Ice and Dice fundraiser, featuring Senators players and coaches. This event will benefit the Gatineau Hospital Foundation and Ottawa Senators Foundation."

Media Type:

"I don't give a rat's ass what kind of charitable works you will be doing in conjunction with the Ottawa Senators. That's all well and good. But what dipshit came up with such an incredibly fucking dull name like "Scotiabank Place"? I mean, fer shitsakes...SCOTIABANK PLACE!?! My two year old could come up with a better name than that!"

...Laughter and nods of agreement from the media types. Uncomfortable looks from the executives from the Senators and Scotiabank. Blank, vacuous smiles from the marketing people...

Rod Serling's voice:

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call "The Twilight Zone"

Missing Person report

2006-01-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

It's funny how, sometimes, you think of someone whom you haven't thought about in a long time.

I found myself humming a tune called "I Can Only Hear the Rhythm" by Andrea De Valois. It's on the Just Write soundtrack. Just Write starred Sherilyn Fenn and Jeremy Piven. Not a bad flick. Andrea's song played during the closing credits. It's a great pop tune which surprisingly got little airplay.

Anyways, I used to work with Andrea at a now defunct Ottawa-based company called Eftia. I bought both of her independently-produced CDs: Syren Songs and Hush.

She used to have a webpage at www.andredevalois.com. Now, nothing. Every mention of her online is from, at the most recent, 2001. Too bad. She had a wonderful voice and was smoking hot to boot (well, I thought so anyways...am partial to red heads).

If anyone out there knows what happened to her, let me know.

Canada's Political system (in a nutshell)

2005-12-19T15:58:00.000-05:00

This one's for BigBuddhaPuppy over at De-Center. In my post on the latest election in Canada, he asked for some general information on Canada's political system.

So, here goes:

Canada uses a parliamentary system, based on the Westminster system from the UK. There are 308 constituencies (or ridings) represented in the House of Commons. The party with a majority of these "seats" forms the government. In the case where there is no clear majority, the party with the most seats forms the "minority government" which usually survives by dealing with one of the other parties (or any independent Members of Parliament - these are members not affiliated with a party). Governments can be brought down, as was the case this past November, by a vote of no confidence. The ruling Liberal party lost a non-confidence vote (they had been backed by the socialist-leaning New Democratic Party (NDP) but had screwed up so badly that they deserved to get turfed).

The ridings are supposed to be representative based on population, but this is not the case. The voter size of each riding can fluctuate between 130,000 to 27,000. Which is hardly "representative".

Political Parties:

Liberals - basically in the centre of the political spectrum.
Conservatives - basically to the right
NDP - to the left - no where near the centre
Bloc Quebecois - separatists (that's right - they run federally and want to separate Quebec from the country. Go figure.)
Green - environmentalists - so God-knows where they would fit

There are other fringe parties (the Green is considered fringe as well).

Viewpoints:

The Liberals present themselves as representative of all Canadians, but hardly are. The primary power base is in central Ontario. They very rarely win any seats west of Ontario. They have been entrenched in power far too long and have grown both arrogant and corrupt. Though, to hear some of the slack-jawed yokels, you wouldn't think so.

The Conservatives are newly formed from the demise of the old Progress Conservatives and the Reform party. For the most part, this party believes in fiscal conservatism. Hard to say how they would handle themselves if they won. They do want to re-open the gay marriage debate, ostensibly to give the members of parliament a chance on a free vote, which was denied them by the Liberals (i.e. the Liberals forced all their members to toe the party line). The Liberals try to claim that the Conservatives have a "hidden agenda"...whatever that is. This is how the Liberals win...vague innuendo to frighten the morons.

The NDP: pie-in-the-sky socialists. Pro-unionists with no real plan. They like to promise to throw money around, but kind of keep quiet when asked from where the money would come...can you say "TAXATION OVERLOAD"?

The Bloc Quebecois - as odd as it sounds, I have more respect for their leader than any of the others. He basically is quite up-front about his goals. This party is strictly regional.

My hope:

Now, barring a Conservative majority, I would like to see a minority Conservative government with the Bloc working with them. Odd as that sounds, it would be representative of most of the country. Unlike an Ontario-based Liberal government.

Changed Template

2005-12-19T15:55:00.000-05:00

Thnak you for the comments regarding my HTML woes. I have decided to just use another template for now. Note, I used to use haloscan for comments, and now I am using the built in blogger ones. So, any past comments have disappeared.

Need HTML help!

2005-12-16T08:05:00.000-05:00

Can someone more html savvy than I tell me what is going on here? No matter what I do, now both IE and Firefox drop my most recent post down until it starts below my sidebar (links and such to the right). Not sure what is going on here. It wasn't doing it at all, then it did it (without any changes by me) in IE. Now that I have downloaded Firefox 1.5, it's doing it with that one too.

A part of the html reads: .blogPost{margin:3px 0px 30px 0px;background:transparent;font-size:100%;} - even if I change that so it reads
.blogPost{margin:3px 200px 30px 0px;background:transparent;font-size:100%;} it still drops it down.

Voters are morons redux

2005-12-12T10:38:00.000-05:00

Okay...Canada is heading to the polls again, and once again the voters, primarily in Ontario and Atlantic Canada, are proving that most of them are slack-jawed doorknobs who have no business in a ballot booth and even less business taking another breath.

Even after the firearms boondoggle (budget $80 million, currently over $1 billion and counting), the ADSCAM fiasco, the cancelled helicopter deals that costs us millions, the HRDSC fiasco with misplaced billions, Prime Minister Paul Martin's shipping business that was, oddly, exempt from new Canadian laws requiring ships to be registered in Canada (except, for the countries where his were registered, for tax evasion purposes)...and whatever else they have done but not been caught doing, it seems the aforementioned morons believe that the Conservatives and their leader Stephen Harper are "scary" and have some sort of "hidden agenda".

Asswipes who vote Liberal get what they deserve...a pack of arrogant elitists who in a less civilised country would have long ago been lined up against a wall and shot.

If you don't live in Quebec (since their choices really are limited to the Bloc and the Liberals), and are going to vote Liberal because you like the job they are doing, do me and the country a huge favour and refrain from voting. Barring that, go to the Darwin Awards and read up on the many creative ways morons like you have withdrawn themselves from the gene, and voting, pool, choose whichever is less "scary" to you, and have at it.

Reasons to Hate the Leaves

2005-11-29T11:27:00.000-05:00

Okay...

Reason 1:

The NHL is back. 29 of the 30 teams paint the slogan "Thank you, fans" on the ice. Toronto, on the other hand, paints "Thank you, Leafs fans". Typical obnoxiousness.

Reason 2:

INXS, while on a promotional tour for their new, soon-to-be-release CD "Switch", sing the national anthems at a Toronto Maple Leafs (sic) home game. All but one of the members of the band are Australian and probably know NOTHING about hockey. They are all wearing Leafs (sic) jersies. Obnoxiousness.

Reason 3:

Oddly, the Leafs (sic)have won the past few games while enjoying a 5 on 3 power play. Very odd, given the set of circumstances that have to be present for that to happen. Can you say "fixed"?

Reason 4:

Based on Reason #3, they have won more games than they should have, simply due to somewhat questionable calls by the refs. I mean, once in while it happens, but at least two games in a row?? Too suspicious.

Reason 5:

It appears that only Leafs (sic) home games are in High Definition.

Reason 6:

There is no such word as "Leafs" in the english language.

Wha?

2005-11-16T15:19:00.000-05:00

(Okay...okay...I know I am blasting too many posts all at one, but hey...the floodgates seem to be open right now...if anyone has an RSS feed of my site, my apologies for inundating you (though, I doubt anyone does).)

Now, to the meaning of the title of this post..."Wha?". Check out this nutbar called Dr. Kamau Kambon and some of the things he said in an address at the Howard University Law School...essentially he is telling people that we (meaning blacks) should exterminate all white people.

Around the same time ABC news had this headline: Young Singers Spread Racist Hate. So, in the interest of unbiased news reporting, where is ABC's headline: African American Doctor Spreads Racist Hate? I mean, I'm just asking.

Can anyone say The Turner Diaries. How does that book (and I am stretching the definition of the word "book" here) differ from the comments of this nutcase? Oh...right...he's black...he can say these things. I guess that's it.

If a white guy had said something like that, the blogosphere would be all over it. Funny. Funny, too, how it was a black blogger from whom I first heard of this (La Shawn Barber).

The Left and the Right

2005-11-16T12:00:00.000-05:00

You know, I consider myself all over the political spectrum. I don't have any particular allegiance to the political left or the right. So, I think I might have a fairly objective viewpoint.

The blogosphere is dominated by those with left-wing opinions, educated or not. The tone of most of their diatribes remind me of the same diatribes I see coming out of the Right. But whereas the Right is harsh and insulting, the Left tends to be condescending...like anyone with opinions that differ from theirs is substandard and a fool.

Rarely have I ever seen anyone from either side admit to being wrong and modifying their opinions...but less so from anyone on the Left. This is the same argument I had about unions: how viable is an organization if, in its own collective mind, IT IS NEVER WRONG? When is the last time a union has said "Oops, we screwed up. Boy, were we ever wrong. Sorry about shutting down the company...can you reopen the factories so we can get our jobs back?"? I mean, the present US administration is a prime example of Right-wing loonies who cannot admit they have screwed up, but since the Left is "so intelligent" and "knowledgable" about everything to do with life, the universe, and everything, they must be intelligent enough to realize that they can, and are, often wrong on issues.

Nope. Not in my experience. For proof, I offer any number of left-of-centre blogs as proof.