Monday, May 31, 2004

Morons should not be allowed to vote.

People who vote without even trying to understand the issues should not even be allowed near a ballot box. Canada is currently in the throes of a federal election, and the intellectually incompetent are coming out of the woodwork. Just to give you some background, the Liberal party has been the governing party for several years. It has recently come to light that in that time, they bilked more than $200 million of tax-payers money into a type of money-laundering scam (nicknamed AdScam). The current Prime Minister (Paul Martin) was the Finance Minister during much of this period. He claims he didn't know what was going on. Now, either this makes him a lying sack of shit, or incompetent. He can pick one or the other.

The problem is, instead of turfing him and his sycophants out on their Gucci-covered asses, the polls are showing the Liberals still in the lead! How the fuck is that possible? This is the kind of logic being perpetrated:

Voting-Numb-Nuts: Hmmmm....Adolf Hitler is re-running as leader of the German people. I really don't like his war mongering and his Jew killing, but I think we should go with the devil we know, rather than the devil we don't.

This began when the ex-leader of the now defunct Progressive Conservative party, Joe Clark, said that Paul Martin should win rather than Stephen Harper (the leader of the new Conservative party) because, in his words:

"In those choices, I would be extremely worried about Mr. Harper. I personally would prefer to go with the devil we know."

For my part, I find myself more libertarian than conservative. I believe in somewhat less government, but not to the point of anarchy. So I habitually find myself trying to balance the differing policies, or promises, of the parties to determine where my vote would be going. But promises by the Liberals are never kept. At least not in the last several years, including provincial politics. So, why should I believe them at all.

I say we go with a new party. Give the Conservatives a shot at running this country. If they suck, turf them the next election. But let's not leave the Liberals in power. That would be stupid.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

American Idol

Fantasia Barrino wins American Idol. Deservedly so. She has a very unique voice and style. After the show was over last night, I hustled up to my PC and logged onto American Idol's website, specifically the Community page where morons from around the world get to vent their frustration at the results on a weekly basis.

People can disagree with the choice based on talent: someone may like a singer, someone else might not. But to disparage Fantasia because she is
a) black
b) an unwed mother

is absurd. One wankjob wrote that Fantasia wasn't a good "role model for our children". Um, newflash, singers should not be role models just because they are singers. That's one of the problems with the US. They "idolize" (no pun intended) professional athletes and entertainers who have no business being idolized. Like their music...fine. Look up to them as examples of how to live your life, and you have a problem. Parents should be their children's role models; and teachers, firefighters, police offices, get the idea.

I posted a comment that said something to the effect that she wasn't as bad a role model, if you had to look at her as one, than say, a coke-addict for president. Some idiot answers back "I didn't vote for Clinton.". I was talking about Bush!

Funny thing happened. The thread was suddenly deleted. Good old Fox, cleaning out any controversy. Much like Fox News edits out the truth from reports from Iraq.

Friday, May 21, 2004

Build a shelter

Not that I'm an alarmist, but the continuing evidence of strong links between the Bush administration and Christian Fundamentalists is scaring the beejeesus out of me. For some background reading, check out an article in the Village Voice.

I don't know what's worse. On one side we have a portion of Muslims who seem to delight in slaughtering innocent people in the name of religion, and on the other we have Christian Fundamentalists whose single wet dream is the apocalypse.

Hey, I just want to play video games, watch porn, and eat nachos. In no particular order. And I would like to be able to do these things without some religious freaks ruining my mojo. You believe in God? Good for you. Now shut the fuck up and leave me and mine alone.

I just installed a pool (above ground, and no, you aren't invited over. Well, okay, if you're Courteney Cox, you have an open invitation. I guess my wife would extend the same courtesy to Brad Pitt or Mel Gibson. But no one else!). I'm thinking I should have built a bomb shelter (same open invitations apply).

It's unfortunate that conservative political ideology has been taken over by religious numb-nuts. I'm conservative in the sense that I believe in brutalizing criminals, low taxes, and no welfare. Unfortunately, the whole religion thing is driving me nuts.

Friday, May 14, 2004

The Rapture?

Interesting website about the "rapture" called, you betcha...Rapture Ready. By interesting I mean frightening and not just a little insane.

The site has a glossary in which they offer a lot of rapture-specific definitions including, of course, Rapture:

At an unknown hour and day the Lord Jesus will descend from heaven, while remaining in the air, he will snatch his Bride, the Church, out from among this sinful world. Christ then takes the Church to heaven for the 7 year wedding feast. The earthly reason for the removal of the Church is to make way for the rise of Antichrist and to fulfill Daniel's final 70th week.

Essentially means that the believers will rise to heaven (and the innocent - children - I would guess) leaving the rest of us to contend with the time of Tribulations:

A period of time lasting 7 years, the first 3 1/2 years will be relatively peaceful as the antichrist rises to power. The second 3 1/2 years will bring the greatest suffering in human history as the wrath of God and the Antichrist is poured out on earth.

God, for us non-believers, there will certainly be lots o' stuff going on. Maybe it'll be like some bitchin' live-action Unreal Tournament in which we get to blow away demons and other evil things.

I wonder, however, if the Rapture occurs, if the intolerant religious people among us will actually end up staying here? Wouldn't that be hysterical!?

Maybe it will be a good thing. After all the Bible-thumpers get vacuumed up by God, we can all sit down and watch porn on primetime TV without some religious nut going off his rocker. The whole Janet-Jackson-breast-flash episode would be a titilating footnote rather than an earth (and by earth I mean, of course, the US) shattering EVENT (<--- excuse the caps).

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

419 Scams

Check out 419 Eaters for some interesting reading. For some background, 419 is the code designated in Nigeria to a type of scam that is prevalent on the internet. You probably have all seen them:

Hi my friend,

My name is Ugo Bella and I am the Under Secretary for some-dumb-department here in BumFuck, Ivory Coast and ... blah blah.

He will go on to tell you about a pile o' money he needs a foreigner to get out of the country and he will split it with you 75-25 or some such deal. Of course, the kicker is you have to pony up some cash for them to use to bribe people or acquire permits or some other bullshit.

Anyways, sites like 419 Eater do something called scam-baiting in which they pretend to be interested and get these would-be con-men and con-women to do stupid things like pose with fish on their heads (in the name of religion!). It's oh so much fun, and I currently find myself in the midst of a baiting process. Once it is complete, I will end up posting my results on 419 Eater (if they will have me, that is).

Now, I read a story, also on 419 Eater, about a man who was actually taken in by this scam and lost thousands of dollars. Good riddance. If anyone gets fooled by this lame con then they didn't deserve to have the money in the first place. It isn't like this is, in any way, believable.

Corporate Stupidity?

I was fascinated to hear that it took Gillette 7 years and $750 Million to develop the "Mach 3" razor. You know, the razor cartridge with 3 blades. Now, if that isn't some sort of Dilbertian fuckup, I don't know what is.

Maybe I don't understand what is involved in blade development, but 7 years and $750 Million seems a mite excessive for 3 freaking blades! Now, of course, Schick has come out with their "Quattro" with...wait for it....FOUR blades. If it took Gillette 7 years and almost a billion dollars to develop a three-blade razor, God only knows the vast resources that Schick had to expend to come with four!

I can picture the initial call from the suits at Gillette to the nerdy engineers working in the basement:

"Okay, we need a new kind of razor cartridge. Better than two blades. What can you boys come up with?"

"Ni...I mean, {shh, okay guys turn down Doom 3, the PHB is on the phone}...yessir. Better than two blades. We're right on it."

"Right. Good. How much will it cost and how long will it take?"

"Er, to develop a razor better than two blades, about 2 min...ouch {Karl, why did you punch my arm. Owie, that hurts. What? Oh..good idea...nehnehneh}. Um...sir, it should take years and BILLION DOLLARS" <-- nerdy engineer doing Dr. Evil impersonation.

"Okay. Better get right on it then."

I can picture the nerds jacking up their computer systems so they can surf porn faster and play bitching games of Quake. Then 7 years later, giving the PHB a three-bladed razor.

I love the Schick Quattro commercial, too. Some pretty boy asks: "What will come next?".

Geez dipshit, um, FIVE blades maybe?