Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Corporate Stupidity?

I was fascinated to hear that it took Gillette 7 years and $750 Million to develop the "Mach 3" razor. You know, the razor cartridge with 3 blades. Now, if that isn't some sort of Dilbertian fuckup, I don't know what is.

Maybe I don't understand what is involved in blade development, but 7 years and $750 Million seems a mite excessive for 3 freaking blades! Now, of course, Schick has come out with their "Quattro" with...wait for it....FOUR blades. If it took Gillette 7 years and almost a billion dollars to develop a three-blade razor, God only knows the vast resources that Schick had to expend to come with four!

I can picture the initial call from the suits at Gillette to the nerdy engineers working in the basement:

"Okay, we need a new kind of razor cartridge. Better than two blades. What can you boys come up with?"

"Ni...I mean, {shh, okay guys turn down Doom 3, the PHB is on the phone}...yessir. Better than two blades. We're right on it."

"Right. Good. How much will it cost and how long will it take?"

"Er, to develop a razor better than two blades, about 2 min...ouch {Karl, why did you punch my arm. Owie, that hurts. What? Oh..good idea...nehnehneh}. Um...sir, it should take roughly...er...7...yeah...7 years and cost...um...ONE BILLION DOLLARS" <-- nerdy engineer doing Dr. Evil impersonation.

"Okay. Better get right on it then."

I can picture the nerds jacking up their computer systems so they can surf porn faster and play bitching games of Quake. Then 7 years later, giving the PHB a three-bladed razor.

I love the Schick Quattro commercial, too. Some pretty boy asks: "What will come next?".

Geez dipshit, um, FIVE blades maybe?